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Every time I make this argument people jump at the "religion" part. It has nothing to do with religion, it has to do with the fact that 1) institutions were bri

Every time I make this argument people jump at the "religion" part. It has nothing to do with religion, it has to do with the fact that 1) institutions were bringing people together for a reason other than their 2) main purpose for existing; and you need not do #2 to do #1.

johnnyanmac 3y ago
>It has nothing to do with religion, It has nothing to do with religion in the same way that Schools have nothing to do with education. Like sure, you can make meetups happen at schools and school events can bring general community together (well, not NOW given a whole cacophony of cultural shifts. But 20+ years ago), but for very obvious reason your institution will be stereotyped for having young kids/parents and a focus on learning. Not a place for a single 20/30's adults to casually hang out. It's the same with church. Outside of a donation drive (which I am fortunate to not require) I can't imagine any reason for me to willingly visit a church in search of friendships. >and you need not do #2 to do #1. but they will be skewed by #2. I don't want to be showered in "Praise God" when I simply want to find a friend to chat with a few times a month and talk casually with. I don't want to make people who care a lot about their religion uncomfortable because I do not share the same beliefs. I'm not looking for philisophical fights about God like some edgelord atheist on Reddit; they have their space and it's not for me. And that's fine. Church aside, it doesn't address the general issues I have with club participation.
- mwbajor 3y ago
  Sure, but if I was to replace "church" with "school" then I wouldn't be getting half of the downvotes I get despite there not being any real difference in how the affinity clubs at a Church/Synagogue vs. PTA (at least back in the 90s) worked. In fact, the Church/Synagogue clubs weren't remotely religious vs. the PTA affinity clubs which required you to be a parent of a kid. Yes, in my town the PTA had clubs. Mens club etc. The conversation is about the "male loneliness epidemic" so fathers and older men, not just 20/30's adults should be included as well.
  - johnnyanmac 3y ago
    >Sure, but if I was to replace "church" with "school" then I wouldn't be getting half of the downvotes I get my condolences, but ultimately I can only speak for myself. I was raised Catholic so it's not like Ive never set foot in a church. It's just not a scene I want to be around. For me, I'd be just as hesitant if a school hosted as Ski club as if a church did for the reasons I described. Maybe it'd e different if it was my alma mater offering various alumni activities (of course, to advertise donations), but I am very far away from that campus. >The conversation is about the "male loneliness epidemic" so fathers and older men, not just 20/30's adults should be included as well. Sure. But I have to admit that I am not yet a father nor older man (at least, if we define "older man" as 40+. I can't speak for them (yet). I only wanted to chime in that I don't reject churches because "they are uncool". I'm not older but I am well past the age of caring about such matters. And I don't think any of my immediate friends would give that reason either.
    - mwbajor 3y ago
      Actually, I think the best solution is men only gyms. I belong to one and its great. Of course, setting these types of things up takes time and money, but it can be as simple as a rented garage with some equipment.
      - david-gpu 3y ago
        > Actually, I think the best solution is men only gyms If that works for you, that is great. Personally, I strongly dislike segregated clubs, both ideologically and in practice. I want to interact with people of different backgrounds and avoid inadvertently carving myself into an echo chamber, so segregation (in any dimension) feels a step in the wrong direction for me.
        em-bee 3y ago
        the only way to solve that is to attend/join multiple groups or clubs. the hackerspace that i visit has one kind of demographic, and the kybernetes meetup that i recently attended, quite another, which is yet very different from the people at the irish folk session or the meetup for self employed people, or the digital nomads meetup. a single group that has a representative distribution of all sections of society does not exist

johnnyanmac 3y ago

>It has nothing to do with religion, It has nothing to do with religion in the same way that Schools have nothing to do with education. Like sure, you can make meetups happen at schools and school events can bring general community together (well, not NOW given a whole cacophony of cultural shifts. But 20+ years ago), but for very obvious reason your institution will be stereotyped for having young kids/parents and a focus on learning. Not a place for a single 20/30's adults to casually hang out. It's the same with church. Outside of a donation drive (which I am fortunate to not require) I can't imagine any reason for me to willingly visit a church in search of friendships. >and you need not do #2 to do #1. but they will be skewed by #2. I don't want to be showered in "Praise God" when I simply want to find a friend to chat with a few times a month and talk casually with. I don't want to make people who care a lot about their religion uncomfortable because I do not share the same beliefs. I'm not looking for philisophical fights about God like some edgelord atheist on Reddit; they have their space and it's not for me. And that's fine. Church aside, it doesn't address the general issues I have with club participation.

mwbajor 3y ago
Sure, but if I was to replace "church" with "school" then I wouldn't be getting half of the downvotes I get despite there not being any real difference in how the affinity clubs at a Church/Synagogue vs. PTA (at least back in the 90s) worked. In fact, the Church/Synagogue clubs weren't remotely religious vs. the PTA affinity clubs which required you to be a parent of a kid. Yes, in my town the PTA had clubs. Mens club etc. The conversation is about the "male loneliness epidemic" so fathers and older men, not just 20/30's adults should be included as well.
- johnnyanmac 3y ago
  >Sure, but if I was to replace "church" with "school" then I wouldn't be getting half of the downvotes I get my condolences, but ultimately I can only speak for myself. I was raised Catholic so it's not like Ive never set foot in a church. It's just not a scene I want to be around. For me, I'd be just as hesitant if a school hosted as Ski club as if a church did for the reasons I described. Maybe it'd e different if it was my alma mater offering various alumni activities (of course, to advertise donations), but I am very far away from that campus. >The conversation is about the "male loneliness epidemic" so fathers and older men, not just 20/30's adults should be included as well. Sure. But I have to admit that I am not yet a father nor older man (at least, if we define "older man" as 40+. I can't speak for them (yet). I only wanted to chime in that I don't reject churches because "they are uncool". I'm not older but I am well past the age of caring about such matters. And I don't think any of my immediate friends would give that reason either.
  - mwbajor 3y ago
    Actually, I think the best solution is men only gyms. I belong to one and its great. Of course, setting these types of things up takes time and money, but it can be as simple as a rented garage with some equipment.
    - david-gpu 3y ago
      > Actually, I think the best solution is men only gyms If that works for you, that is great. Personally, I strongly dislike segregated clubs, both ideologically and in practice. I want to interact with people of different backgrounds and avoid inadvertently carving myself into an echo chamber, so segregation (in any dimension) feels a step in the wrong direction for me.
      - em-bee 3y ago
        the only way to solve that is to attend/join multiple groups or clubs. the hackerspace that i visit has one kind of demographic, and the kybernetes meetup that i recently attended, quite another, which is yet very different from the people at the irish folk session or the meetup for self employed people, or the digital nomads meetup. a single group that has a representative distribution of all sections of society does not exist