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"We don't really have a lack of third places per se." Yes we do, people traded all the good person-to-person interactions that are probably critical for human

"We don't really have a lack of third places per se." Yes we do, people traded all the good person-to-person interactions that are probably critical for human evolution for facebook. The churches and synogogues in my town had dozens of clubs that were completely non-religions, ski-club, scuba-club, travel club, etc. Since going to church/temple became uncool, so did going to the clubs. We've replaced it with social media. One of many examples. Getting in the car is not a pain in the ass if you have kids, doubly so if its worth it and limits screentime. And again with the "cars are evil routine"... do you realize that the interior of the US was vibrant and well connected with many "3rd places"? This is a region of the US where it might be 10-60mins to the next "3rd place" by car, and by many accounts, society was much more healthier even with the added commute time.

JambalayaJim 3y ago
>And again with this “cars are evil routine” I can’t speak to the interior US and how lovely it was or wasn’t. I grew up in a car based suburb. It didn’t really have much for people to do. My grandma went and left because she couldn’t drive and was bored. I couldn’t afford my own car until I was 25, and I left shortly after anyway. I could easily see my dad being very lonely while I was young. Everyday he went to work and then spent the rest of the evening ferrying everyone around. He’s now doing social things like playing badminton etc. That will probably stop once he gets too old to drive.
pixl97 3y ago
People replaced church as soon as they possibly could because it seems they don't like being abused by people that like to tell them that skydaddy is sending them to hell. You're attempting to sell a solution that already failed in the marketplace of ideas, that is church. Because churches were tied so strongly with different clubs, they were dragged down by the same anchor. The problem was we had no other social 'third places' in place, and the greedy hand of capitalism was there to extract as much money from people looking to do something. When the internet rose to power you suddenly had a 'free' (terms and conditions may apply) alternative. >Getting in the car is not a pain in the ass if you have kids, Right, that's why people write papers called "The Contraceptive effect of car seats". I do believe more research is needed on your part.
- mwbajor 3y ago
  Saying anything even minutely good about religion always hits a nerve. Its hard for people to cope with the fact that not everything was always bad about religion, all the time. Also, somehow its always the people that never publish (you, I can tell) that are the quickest to cite "research". You can publish anything, haven't you heard of the 'replication crisis'? I have kids, know lots of people with kids and while its maybe anecdotal evidence, getting kids into the car is the least of my worries. Sounds like a dumb excuse for people that think they need a reason to not have kids.
johnnyanmac 3y ago
>Since going to church/temple became uncool, so did going to the clubs. We've replaced it with social media. 1) it's not about being "cool". I have no issues with religion, but I am not religious and I see no reason to go to a religious institution to meet people who skew religious. It's that simple. 2) clubs are around without churches but have the same issues: they tend to be aimed at the youth. And we're unfortuantely past the days where having a single adult around a bunch of minors is simply okay and considered completely platonic. 3) You must be in a very high CoL area because the church clubs I saw growing up were nowhere near as fancy as ski and scuba.
- mwbajor 3y ago
  Every time I make this argument people jump at the "religion" part. It has nothing to do with religion, it has to do with the fact that 1) institutions were bringing people together for a reason other than their 2) main purpose for existing; and you need not do #2 to do #1.
  - johnnyanmac 3y ago
    >It has nothing to do with religion, It has nothing to do with religion in the same way that Schools have nothing to do with education. Like sure, you can make meetups happen at schools and school events can bring general community together (well, not NOW given a whole cacophony of cultural shifts. But 20+ years ago), but for very obvious reason your institution will be stereotyped for having young kids/parents and a focus on learning. Not a place for a single 20/30's adults to casually hang out. It's the same with church. Outside of a donation drive (which I am fortunate to not require) I can't imagine any reason for me to willingly visit a church in search of friendships. >and you need not do #2 to do #1. but they will be skewed by #2. I don't want to be showered in "Praise God" when I simply want to find a friend to chat with a few times a month and talk casually with. I don't want to make people who care a lot about their religion uncomfortable because I do not share the same beliefs. I'm not looking for philisophical fights about God like some edgelord atheist on Reddit; they have their space and it's not for me. And that's fine. Church aside, it doesn't address the general issues I have with club participation.

JambalayaJim 3y ago

>And again with this “cars are evil routine” I can’t speak to the interior US and how lovely it was or wasn’t. I grew up in a car based suburb. It didn’t really have much for people to do. My grandma went and left because she couldn’t drive and was bored. I couldn’t afford my own car until I was 25, and I left shortly after anyway. I could easily see my dad being very lonely while I was young. Everyday he went to work and then spent the rest of the evening ferrying everyone around. He’s now doing social things like playing badminton etc. That will probably stop once he gets too old to drive.

pixl97 3y ago

People replaced church as soon as they possibly could because it seems they don't like being abused by people that like to tell them that skydaddy is sending them to hell. You're attempting to sell a solution that already failed in the marketplace of ideas, that is church. Because churches were tied so strongly with different clubs, they were dragged down by the same anchor. The problem was we had no other social 'third places' in place, and the greedy hand of capitalism was there to extract as much money from people looking to do something. When the internet rose to power you suddenly had a 'free' (terms and conditions may apply) alternative. >Getting in the car is not a pain in the ass if you have kids, Right, that's why people write papers called "The Contraceptive effect of car seats". I do believe more research is needed on your part.

mwbajor 3y ago
Saying anything even minutely good about religion always hits a nerve. Its hard for people to cope with the fact that not everything was always bad about religion, all the time. Also, somehow its always the people that never publish (you, I can tell) that are the quickest to cite "research". You can publish anything, haven't you heard of the 'replication crisis'? I have kids, know lots of people with kids and while its maybe anecdotal evidence, getting kids into the car is the least of my worries. Sounds like a dumb excuse for people that think they need a reason to not have kids.

johnnyanmac 3y ago

>Since going to church/temple became uncool, so did going to the clubs. We've replaced it with social media. 1) it's not about being "cool". I have no issues with religion, but I am not religious and I see no reason to go to a religious institution to meet people who skew religious. It's that simple. 2) clubs are around without churches but have the same issues: they tend to be aimed at the youth. And we're unfortuantely past the days where having a single adult around a bunch of minors is simply okay and considered completely platonic. 3) You must be in a very high CoL area because the church clubs I saw growing up were nowhere near as fancy as ski and scuba.

mwbajor 3y ago
Every time I make this argument people jump at the "religion" part. It has nothing to do with religion, it has to do with the fact that 1) institutions were bringing people together for a reason other than their 2) main purpose for existing; and you need not do #2 to do #1.
- johnnyanmac 3y ago
  >It has nothing to do with religion, It has nothing to do with religion in the same way that Schools have nothing to do with education. Like sure, you can make meetups happen at schools and school events can bring general community together (well, not NOW given a whole cacophony of cultural shifts. But 20+ years ago), but for very obvious reason your institution will be stereotyped for having young kids/parents and a focus on learning. Not a place for a single 20/30's adults to casually hang out. It's the same with church. Outside of a donation drive (which I am fortunate to not require) I can't imagine any reason for me to willingly visit a church in search of friendships. >and you need not do #2 to do #1. but they will be skewed by #2. I don't want to be showered in "Praise God" when I simply want to find a friend to chat with a few times a month and talk casually with. I don't want to make people who care a lot about their religion uncomfortable because I do not share the same beliefs. I'm not looking for philisophical fights about God like some edgelord atheist on Reddit; they have their space and it's not for me. And that's fine. Church aside, it doesn't address the general issues I have with club participation.