3 ms·

america is kind of a shitshow when it comes to meeting people. I found it a magnitude order easier to make friends and sexual partners when I left america to tr

america is kind of a shitshow when it comes to meeting people. I found it a magnitude order easier to make friends and sexual partners when I left america to travel from country to country. even just hanging out in cafes, I'll get to know the people working there and get invited to gatherings. girls working there will chat me up and show me around the city. meanwhile in america? I see the same baristas every day for months, go to the gym and see the same people. sometimes I even start a conversation. never really goes beyond superficial. its depressing. I sometimes come back to visit my parents but I can't help but feel like living in the states is a constant attack on my mental health at this point. it sucks and I completely understand why so many people are going unhinged.

mwbajor 3y ago
Can you quantify "magnitude easier"? Doesn't sound like anything you did was unique to a particular country.
- cultofmetatron 3y ago
  > Can you quantify "magnitude easier" what I mean is that making friends requires almost no effort from my part when I'm in latin america or asia. maybe it is the cool foreigner effect but having a 2 min chat turn into being invited to a party is not somethign I ever experience when I'm in the united states. dating prospects are better too. the few times I start a conversation with women, it ends up in a soft rejection. Meanwhile I have plenty of female friends (sometimes with benefits) come out of interactions with women down in latin america despite the language barrier. they are far more open to meet people and seeing where things go, american women always seem so guarded by contrast and at this point I dont even bother with them anymore because they are always so avoidant.
  - fragmede 3y ago
    > having a 2 min chat turn into being invited to a party is not somethign I ever experience when I'm in the united states Having that experience in a city (in the US) is why I chose to live in a city, rather than the burbs, but you do need to put out the right vibe for that to happen. It's hard to be an interesting foreigner with a hot acccent just visiting the city when you sound native because you live there.
    - johnnyanmac 3y ago
      >but you do need to put out the right vibe for that to happen. That vague social construct is why I simply gave up on being approached.
jacooper 3y ago
Probably because you are a foreigner from a country with a cool reputation.
- cultofmetatron 3y ago
  america's reputation has gone down a lot over the last few days
  - fragmede 3y ago
    Geopolitically, sure, but most people are aware that US citizens are as much responsible for the decisions of President Trump, as the everyday citizen of Russia is for invading Ukraine.
  - jacooper 3y ago
    Maybe the government but not the people.

mwbajor 3y ago

Can you quantify "magnitude easier"? Doesn't sound like anything you did was unique to a particular country.

cultofmetatron 3y ago
> Can you quantify "magnitude easier" what I mean is that making friends requires almost no effort from my part when I'm in latin america or asia. maybe it is the cool foreigner effect but having a 2 min chat turn into being invited to a party is not somethign I ever experience when I'm in the united states. dating prospects are better too. the few times I start a conversation with women, it ends up in a soft rejection. Meanwhile I have plenty of female friends (sometimes with benefits) come out of interactions with women down in latin america despite the language barrier. they are far more open to meet people and seeing where things go, american women always seem so guarded by contrast and at this point I dont even bother with them anymore because they are always so avoidant.
- fragmede 3y ago
  > having a 2 min chat turn into being invited to a party is not somethign I ever experience when I'm in the united states Having that experience in a city (in the US) is why I chose to live in a city, rather than the burbs, but you do need to put out the right vibe for that to happen. It's hard to be an interesting foreigner with a hot acccent just visiting the city when you sound native because you live there.
  - johnnyanmac 3y ago
    >but you do need to put out the right vibe for that to happen. That vague social construct is why I simply gave up on being approached.

jacooper 3y ago

Probably because you are a foreigner from a country with a cool reputation.

cultofmetatron 3y ago
america's reputation has gone down a lot over the last few days
- fragmede 3y ago
  Geopolitically, sure, but most people are aware that US citizens are as much responsible for the decisions of President Trump, as the everyday citizen of Russia is for invading Ukraine.
- jacooper 3y ago
  Maybe the government but not the people.