5 ms·

All these married people talking about how they are lonely is so alien to me. I'm actually someone who can make male friends very easily. I'm charismatic, nice

by cm2012 3y ago

All these married people talking about how they are lonely is so alien to me. I'm actually someone who can make male friends very easily. I'm charismatic, nice, and extraverted. That said I have no interest since I enjoy spending time so much with my best friend, my wife. I don't feel like spending the time investing in other deep friendships.

ejb999 3y ago
similar boat here...its a good problem to have though.
mmmeff 3y ago
!remindme 10 years
- cm2012 3y ago
  Been with my wife for 17 years so unless she dies in a freak accident I think I'm good.
2-718-281-828 3y ago
how do you know those friendly interactions would actually turn into deep friendships?
- cm2012 3y ago
  Oh I have a good amount of acquaintances and I do things with other people, theres just no one I show vulnerability to or let the barrier down for.
  - 2-718-281-828 3y ago
    > theres just no one I show vulnerability to or let the barrier down for that's a bit of an odd thing to mention.
    - cm2012 3y ago
      It's a distinction made in a top comment in this thread, close friends being ones you show vulnerability to. Just referencing that.
  - em-bee 3y ago
    well that's the thing. many people, and i think the people the article talks about, don't even have that.
mcphage 3y ago
> I don't feel like spending the time investing in other deep friendships. Do you think that putting all of your emotional weight on one person's shoulders is a good idea?
johnnyanmac 3y ago
You said 17 years, so maybe this isn't applicable to you but it does sound like it explains a lot of my issues in struggling to find friends as a single person. Seems like friends used to be a shortcut to meeting a partner and now people just skip the literal middleman and use Tinder. Some people simply don't want much more than a life partner in their life. I even have existing friends I try to invite out to meetups and they are too busy or too disinterested. Existing friends I made and still would go to parties/concerts with. They are still friends, but they clearly don't prioritize trying to get out (and yes, we are all in tech. Great job living to the stereotypes!)

by cm2012 3y ago

ejb999 3y ago

similar boat here...its a good problem to have though.

mmmeff 3y ago

!remindme 10 years

cm2012 3y ago
Been with my wife for 17 years so unless she dies in a freak accident I think I'm good.

2-718-281-828 3y ago

how do you know those friendly interactions would actually turn into deep friendships?

cm2012 3y ago
Oh I have a good amount of acquaintances and I do things with other people, theres just no one I show vulnerability to or let the barrier down for.
- 2-718-281-828 3y ago
  > theres just no one I show vulnerability to or let the barrier down for that's a bit of an odd thing to mention.
  - cm2012 3y ago
    It's a distinction made in a top comment in this thread, close friends being ones you show vulnerability to. Just referencing that.
- em-bee 3y ago
  well that's the thing. many people, and i think the people the article talks about, don't even have that.

mcphage 3y ago

> I don't feel like spending the time investing in other deep friendships. Do you think that putting all of your emotional weight on one person's shoulders is a good idea?

johnnyanmac 3y ago

You said 17 years, so maybe this isn't applicable to you but it does sound like it explains a lot of my issues in struggling to find friends as a single person. Seems like friends used to be a shortcut to meeting a partner and now people just skip the literal middleman and use Tinder. Some people simply don't want much more than a life partner in their life. I even have existing friends I try to invite out to meetups and they are too busy or too disinterested. Existing friends I made and still would go to parties/concerts with. They are still friends, but they clearly don't prioritize trying to get out (and yes, we are all in tech. Great job living to the stereotypes!)