3 ms·

Equating a marriage with "submission" is the first thing that needs to die if we're going to create more two-parent households. It is simply no longer the case

Equating a marriage with "submission" is the first thing that needs to die if we're going to create more two-parent households. It is simply no longer the case.

alduin32 3y ago
A marriage does not equate to submission, but patriarchal issues in current marriages are still very much present.
- lokar 3y ago
  Yes many, probably most marriages are based on an equal relationship. But many are not. And in the past most were not.
  - em-bee 3y ago
    i would say most marriages (in western cultures at least) are based on the expectation of an equal relationship. however many still have not learned what actually is an equal relationship. (it's not splitting home chores 50/50). for me an equal relation ship means that each of our wishes, goals and needs are of equal importance. it can mean that both partners work and split housework equally, but it also can mean something different.
lokar 3y ago
Go read and listen to the ideology from many conservative evangelical groups in the US. They are pretty direct on this point. Wives must submit to husbands. It’s not a secret.
- jvanderbot 3y ago
  It's different to say "some believe, but it's not necessarily true". I'm fully aware of conservative takes, and I'm watching my mom navigate her new independence after her husband died recently. They were both staunch conservatives and evangelicals.
em-bee 3y ago
well, ideally both partners submit to each other. that is, it is my responsibility to help realize the wishes or goals of my wife, but it is just as much my wifes responsibility to help realize my wishes or goals. why is that better than everyone just realizing their own wishes and goals? because this way a space for cooperation is created because we'll both end up working on and supporting each others goals or wishes, and also each of us are able to notice if there is a conflict between each of our goals and wishes, and then we can work them out.

Equating a marriage with "submission" is the first thing that needs to die if we're going to create more two-parent households. It is simply no longer the case.

alduin32 3y ago

A marriage does not equate to submission, but patriarchal issues in current marriages are still very much present.

lokar 3y ago
Yes many, probably most marriages are based on an equal relationship. But many are not. And in the past most were not.
- em-bee 3y ago
  i would say most marriages (in western cultures at least) are based on the expectation of an equal relationship. however many still have not learned what actually is an equal relationship. (it's not splitting home chores 50/50). for me an equal relation ship means that each of our wishes, goals and needs are of equal importance. it can mean that both partners work and split housework equally, but it also can mean something different.

lokar 3y ago

Go read and listen to the ideology from many conservative evangelical groups in the US. They are pretty direct on this point. Wives must submit to husbands. It’s not a secret.

jvanderbot 3y ago
It's different to say "some believe, but it's not necessarily true". I'm fully aware of conservative takes, and I'm watching my mom navigate her new independence after her husband died recently. They were both staunch conservatives and evangelicals.

em-bee 3y ago

well, ideally both partners submit to each other. that is, it is my responsibility to help realize the wishes or goals of my wife, but it is just as much my wifes responsibility to help realize my wishes or goals. why is that better than everyone just realizing their own wishes and goals? because this way a space for cooperation is created because we'll both end up working on and supporting each others goals or wishes, and also each of us are able to notice if there is a conflict between each of our goals and wishes, and then we can work them out.