I also went to a similar level non-Stanford school. My family was "not at all connected" (my parents' generation was the first on either side to attend college)

I also went to a similar level non-Stanford school. My family was "not at all connected" (my parents' generation was the first on either side to attend college) and we spent a fair amount of time doing things that were (in retrospect to me, less sure about my parents' knowledge) optimizing for admissions. For every kid whose parents bought the university a building there are hundreds who did nothing more than follow the cookbook process to optimize their transcript, extracurriculars, and then won the admissions lottery.