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Anybody else remember the data blog posts? Those were interesting and satisfying. It was another confirmation that I'd found the right dating site and probably

Anybody else remember the data blog posts? Those were interesting and satisfying. It was another confirmation that I'd found the right dating site and probably a like-minded userbase.

dspillett 3y ago
Particularly the one that was a tare-down of why paid dating sites like match.com where a mug's game for almost everyone. That somehow went AWOL fairly soon after the match.com take-over…
- lolinder 3y ago
  This one, Why You Should Never Pay For Online Dating: http://web.archive.org/web/20100725135309/http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/ http://web.archive.org/web/20100725135309/http://blog.okcupi...
  - dspillett 3y ago
    Very much sounds like the one. Can't double-check ATM as network I'm on blocks archive.org.
lr4444lr 3y ago
I fondly remember the one that showed men's rating of women approaching almost a perfect normal distribution, and then the men messaging mostly the hot ones anyway, whereas the women rated most men as ugly and then sloping downward toward very few as good looking, kind of like an exponential distribution, but that they also messaged the men almost exactly in tandem - uglier getting the most, with a steady drop as men's ranking rose.
- throwaway2037 3y ago
  This is basically the foundation of modern, online dating -- aka red pill. Roughly, the top 20% of men get 80% of the attention from women. (I'm pretty sure that figure comes from Tinder data.) It makes sense from an evolutionary perspective, but is brutal in the real world. What do you do if you are average (or less) in looks and income (potential)? Prepare for a lonely existance.
  - slashdev 3y ago
    You’re being downvoted, but that’s pretty well supported with data. In fact it’s more skewed than 20/80. Closer to 10/90.
    - deanCommie 3y ago
      They're being downvoted because the very comment they're replying to contradicts it: "but that they also messaged the men almost exactly in tandem - uglier getting the most, with a steady drop as men's ranking rose. OKCupid's own data showed that women rate men is ugly but message them anyway.
  - tspike 3y ago
    Isn’t the parent comment saying the opposite of this? That despite rating most men as ugly, it didn’t affect their messaging behavior nearly as much?
    - friendzis 3y ago
      No, they are saying a bit tangential things. Tinder's data shows "chance of approach", which is brutal for men who are not too good looking. IIRC, OkCupid's data shows a bit different thing. The distribution of ratings determines chance of messages/likes - the larger stddev the better chances. IIRC, the most messaged men were ones with ratings characterized by bimodal distribution. Therefore, the most messaged men were not the ones with highest visual rating. I do not recall the distribution of messages, so can't comment much on that.
      - lr4444lr 3y ago
        Just read the original article[0]. I apologize if I misstated anything in it. [0]http://web.archive.org/web/20100725135309/http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/ http://web.archive.org/web/20100725135309/http://blog.okcupi...
  - flangola7 3y ago
    That data had poor epistemology, and was only really true if you're only looking at cishet monogamous men and cishet monogamous women.
- syphon 3y ago
  I remember reading that analysis at the time and thinking it was flawed. What it didn't seem to account for was if you rated someone high enough (I can't remember if it required 4 or 5 stars), OKCupid would notify the person in question that you had done so. If you didn't want these notifications being fired off you had to adjust your ratings accordingly - now 3 stars is the highest rating you are going to give. I think the stats really just ended up reflecting that men were generally more comfortable having their ratings broadcast than women were.
astrange 3y ago
The main effect of those data posts seems to have been to cause people to spread a lot of misinfo like "women aren't attracted to 80% of men". (What they actually said was that women rate men much lower than men rate women, but the women still respond the same way despite rating them lower, so it doesn't mean anything.)
Noumenon72 3y ago
Information has gotten harder and harder to come by as the Internet has matured. Think how much Tinder, Twitter, and Hinge know about human flirting and attraction. I believe it's just too black pilled to see the light of day.
isolli 3y ago
This was a good one [0]: > When men message women, women tend to respond most often to men around their own ages. But when women message men, they’re actually more likely to get a response from younger men than they are from older ones. A 40-year-old woman will have better luck messaging a 25-year-old man than a 55-year-old one, according to the data. And a 30-year-old man is more likely to respond to a message from a 50-year-old woman than a message from any other age group. When women make the first move, the age gap dating norm is reversed. [0] https://theblog.okcupid.com/undressed-whats-the-deal-with-the-age-gap-in-relationships-3143a2ca5178 https://theblog.okcupid.com/undressed-whats-the-deal-with-th...

Anybody else remember the data blog posts? Those were interesting and satisfying. It was another confirmation that I'd found the right dating site and probably a like-minded userbase.

dspillett 3y ago

Particularly the one that was a tare-down of why paid dating sites like match.com where a mug's game for almost everyone. That somehow went AWOL fairly soon after the match.com take-over…

lolinder 3y ago
This one, Why You Should Never Pay For Online Dating: http://web.archive.org/web/20100725135309/http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/why-you-should-never-pay-for-online-dating/ http://web.archive.org/web/20100725135309/http://blog.okcupi...
- dspillett 3y ago
  Very much sounds like the one. Can't double-check ATM as network I'm on blocks archive.org.

lr4444lr 3y ago

I fondly remember the one that showed men's rating of women approaching almost a perfect normal distribution, and then the men messaging mostly the hot ones anyway, whereas the women rated most men as ugly and then sloping downward toward very few as good looking, kind of like an exponential distribution, but that they also messaged the men almost exactly in tandem - uglier getting the most, with a steady drop as men's ranking rose.

throwaway2037 3y ago
This is basically the foundation of modern, online dating -- aka red pill. Roughly, the top 20% of men get 80% of the attention from women. (I'm pretty sure that figure comes from Tinder data.) It makes sense from an evolutionary perspective, but is brutal in the real world. What do you do if you are average (or less) in looks and income (potential)? Prepare for a lonely existance.
- slashdev 3y ago
  You’re being downvoted, but that’s pretty well supported with data. In fact it’s more skewed than 20/80. Closer to 10/90.
  - deanCommie 3y ago
    They're being downvoted because the very comment they're replying to contradicts it: "but that they also messaged the men almost exactly in tandem - uglier getting the most, with a steady drop as men's ranking rose. OKCupid's own data showed that women rate men is ugly but message them anyway.
- tspike 3y ago
  Isn’t the parent comment saying the opposite of this? That despite rating most men as ugly, it didn’t affect their messaging behavior nearly as much?
  - friendzis 3y ago
    No, they are saying a bit tangential things. Tinder's data shows "chance of approach", which is brutal for men who are not too good looking. IIRC, OkCupid's data shows a bit different thing. The distribution of ratings determines chance of messages/likes - the larger stddev the better chances. IIRC, the most messaged men were ones with ratings characterized by bimodal distribution. Therefore, the most messaged men were not the ones with highest visual rating. I do not recall the distribution of messages, so can't comment much on that.
    - lr4444lr 3y ago
      Just read the original article[0]. I apologize if I misstated anything in it. [0]http://web.archive.org/web/20100725135309/http://blog.okcupid.com/index.php/your-looks-and-online-dating/ http://web.archive.org/web/20100725135309/http://blog.okcupi...
- flangola7 3y ago
  That data had poor epistemology, and was only really true if you're only looking at cishet monogamous men and cishet monogamous women.
syphon 3y ago
I remember reading that analysis at the time and thinking it was flawed. What it didn't seem to account for was if you rated someone high enough (I can't remember if it required 4 or 5 stars), OKCupid would notify the person in question that you had done so. If you didn't want these notifications being fired off you had to adjust your ratings accordingly - now 3 stars is the highest rating you are going to give. I think the stats really just ended up reflecting that men were generally more comfortable having their ratings broadcast than women were.

astrange 3y ago

The main effect of those data posts seems to have been to cause people to spread a lot of misinfo like "women aren't attracted to 80% of men". (What they actually said was that women rate men much lower than men rate women, but the women still respond the same way despite rating them lower, so it doesn't mean anything.)

Noumenon72 3y ago

Information has gotten harder and harder to come by as the Internet has matured. Think how much Tinder, Twitter, and Hinge know about human flirting and attraction. I believe it's just too black pilled to see the light of day.

isolli 3y ago

This was a good one [0]: > When men message women, women tend to respond most often to men around their own ages. But when women message men, they’re actually more likely to get a response from younger men than they are from older ones. A 40-year-old woman will have better luck messaging a 25-year-old man than a 55-year-old one, according to the data. And a 30-year-old man is more likely to respond to a message from a 50-year-old woman than a message from any other age group. When women make the first move, the age gap dating norm is reversed. [0] https://theblog.okcupid.com/undressed-whats-the-deal-with-the-age-gap-in-relationships-3143a2ca5178 https://theblog.okcupid.com/undressed-whats-the-deal-with-th...