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I think this is complete nonsense. I mean all those projections of what "normal people" supposedly think about you if you don't enjoy partying in large groups a
by Tichy 15y ago
I think this is complete nonsense. I mean all those projections of what "normal people" supposedly think about you if you don't enjoy partying in large groups all the time.
First of all, nobody really cares about you (or anybody else), so nobody will worry about you being antisocial or not. Secondly it simply isn't true that most people want to party in large groups all the time.
You are setting yourself up for failure with your beliefs.
- dasil003 15y agoYeah I agree, I think what he's done is redefined introvert around his own very specific and likely over-thought preferences. What does ideal group size have to do with introversion anyway?
- AznHisoka 15y agoActually I resonated with what he said a lot. I'm a loner but I crave interaction.. but not interaction in large groups, and I don't like talking about trivial topics most of the time. My ideal interaction is with 1-2 others.
- personlurking 15y agoI also resonated with the OP. I'd rather learn about something, or someone, in depth (rather than piecemeal). Somewhat analogous to PG's 'Wealth' essay (which was referenced yesterday by a commentor on HN), people who have startups are choosing to do a lot of work in a smarter way over a more concentrated period rather than, let's say, work 50 years for the Post Office, getting a slow pay out. In the same way, I would argue an introvert isn't the "Post Office"-type, as it were. I'd like to add that I don't have a whole lot of interest in talking to people I don't know. This is probably because it's connected to trying to get to know one or more people in a group/social setting. If we're just going to talk for 5 minutes, even 10, I'm not sure what we're going to gain from that. There's always that line between whatever you deem is investment and reward. There's also inorganic vs. organic ways of meeting new people and being put in a room with strangers isn't my idea of organic. Turning the tables once again, try putting me in a room of (preselected) strangers who each have some/several things in common with me and, all of a sudden, inorganic doesn't matter as much.
- jrs235 15y agoI'm going to guess you crave non-trivial interaction. Small talk isn't fulfilling... it's deep thought provoking/inspiring discussion you crave?
- Tichy 15y agoI'm not even sure what the "interaction in large groups" is supposed to be? Even on a party, usually you only talk to 1 to 3 people at a time. If you don't like floating around the party like a butterfly, just find a comfy couch somewhere. I don't understand why the author and it's supporter are so bent on drawing a black and white picture of other people, like either they enjoy large groups or single interactions? What if most people "enjoy" both - larger groups are usually just a tool for finding small groups to interact with.
- AznHisoka 15y agoTalking to people in a party, vs really being one-on-one with them is different for me. When you're in a party, I feel you have the pressure to talk about "fun", casual topics vs deep discussion. Simply because of the context of the situation.
- dasil003 15y agoOkay, but is this introversion?
- AznHisoka 15y agoThat's not an interesting question to me.
- dasil003 15y agoNevertheless it's an important question because the whole article is framed as being about introversion. The dislike of smalltalk is at best a loose correlation. Extroverts can equally dislike small talk.
- AznHisoka 15y agoYou can define it however you wish. Look it up in the dictionary to find your answer.
- nknight 15y ago> First of all, nobody really cares about you (or anybody else), Well, you've just managed to insult your readers and everyone who will ever care about them, so congratulations on that, you must be very proud. > so nobody will worry about you being antisocial or not. I have exactly the opposite experience, and it has been a source of extreme stress in my life. Perhaps you should stop assuming your own life is representative of everyone else's.
- Tichy 15y agoIt's a well known psychological fact that people overestimate the amount of attention other people give to them. Besides, I was only quoting a song (by garbage). What experience do you have? That people avoid you because you avoid them?