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Totally cool and not everyone's cup of tea. Wasn't mine when I was growing up. But I married a woman who grew up more in that type of sphere. I ended up having

Totally cool and not everyone's cup of tea. Wasn't mine when I was growing up. But I married a woman who grew up more in that type of sphere. I ended up having a lot of fun diamond shopping in the upstairs office of a dealer in the diamond district in NYC, learning a lot, connecting to the stone, etc. My wife loved it and I love seeing the ring on her hand. If the market value of it goes to zero and it's just a sentimental thing we share and then give to our daughter, I got my money's worth. Obviously wouldn't have done it if I couldn't afford it etc

willcipriano 3y ago
A bit sexist though isn't it? This is one thing men should no longer feel obligated to do, in the name of equality.
- Ylpertnodi 3y ago
  Not if written by a woman.
  - willcipriano 3y ago
    In the same sex weddings I've attended, both parties had the same or similar rings. One party didn't get a ring that was wildly more expensive than the other.
- keenmaster 3y ago
  You’re dunking on a fictional hyper-woke straw man in response to someone sharing a wholesome anecdote about doing something nice for their wife. Lol.
  - willcipriano 3y ago
    Do you have a good argument why this tradition should stand or are you just going to make assumptions about me?
    - spoiler 3y ago
      Not the person you're responding to, but I'm confused what you're arguing against. Men proposing with a ring? Either way, to me it's someone sharing a story about a romantic gesture. If you remove your implication of sexes (or swap them), do you hold the same belief? Also, the OP never said they felt obliged because they're a man. They said their significant other appreciates this type of jewelry. Anything outside that is you projecting your own beliefs (which we don't have to discuss) into the story
      - willcipriano 3y ago
        > Men proposing with a ring? Not just a ring, a very expensive one in contrast to the one the man ends up with. A ring price gap if you will. > If you remove your implication of sexes (or swap them), do you hold the same belief? Yes and society does generally in these matters as well. There was a number of expectations of women in marriage historically that they have been liberated from, yet this expectation remains for men at some level. > Also, the OP never said they felt obliged because they're a man. They said their significant other appreciates this type of jewelry. He might appreciate sports cars, there isn't a industry trying to get her to buy him a sports car and via conspicuous consumption, socially siginal her value as a wife to his friend group and family. Sports car showrooms aren't full of anxious young couples, taking out loans so he can pull up in something with 500 horsepower on the special day. Why?
        spoiler 3y ago
        > Yes and society does generally in these matters as well. There was a number of expectations of women in marriage historically that they have been liberated from, yet this expectation remains for men at some level. Different circles of people have different expectations, and I think that's okay. I still think we're over-analysing an anecdote here. He was attrac to a woman—for the sake of the argument, but we don't know this—has those expectations. So, he must've been fine with them! If there was a big disparity on world views, we'd never have lived to have this discussion, as the story wouldn't have happened. I guess what I'm trying to say is, of they're happy, who are we to judge them? Traditional or not. I'm personally with you on the stance that it's a bit of a funny tradition, but I don't think it's an egregious one. > He might appreciate sports cars, there isn't a industry trying to get her to buy him a sports car and via conspicuous consumption, socially siginal her value as a wife to his friend group and family. Sports car showrooms aren't full of anxious young couples, taking out loans so he can pull up in something with 500 horsepower on the special day. Why? I am neither into sports cars or super familiar with engagement jewelry, so I might be wrong, but I don't think the price brackets overlap, or do they? So, I'm not sure it's a fair comparison. However... I concede there's a point there. I don't know why that's the case. Maybe because traditionally men earned more while women stayed at home? I have friends who've bought their boyfriends gaming gear/consoles (I know it's not the same price range, but the sentiment was there). Regarding social signaling: maybe her family is upstanding and cares about that. So, he just wanted to impress the in-laws. We don't know! But either way, he was okay with it! It's his life to live after all. We can live ours differently
- xyzelement 3y ago
  I can't tell if this is satire or not, but of course you do your life your way. Maybe we're old-fashioned. My wife's done some pretty "unequal" things like 2 pregnancies and many months of getting up at night to breastfeed. So I don't mind doing some of the "unequal" things from my side. Frankly, I think I get off easy :)
m000 3y ago
"Connecting to the stone"? That's a slippery slope you're on. You could be shopping for healing stones online before you know it.
- jancsika 3y ago
  Given the history of the diamond trade I'm fairly sure the slope slips in the other direction!
- xyzelement 3y ago
  Too late to edit my comment, what I meant more is like "learned the nuances of various stones, understood the nuances of this stone and appreciated it." Maybe instead of connected I should have said something like "nerded out." But now, a few years down the road of marriage, with a house and two kids, I have a deep sentimental appreciation for the journey of which our engagement was the start. Like I said, the ring wasn't necessary to that - if we couldn't afford it we'd do something else but it was an enjoyable part.
  - maximinus_thrax 3y ago
    Thanks for clarifying, makes sense. It's like me appreciating some fine coffee or my father's old records.. To each their own, I guess :)
blibble 3y ago
> If the market value of it goes to zero it already did, the second you bought it
- xyzelement 3y ago
  Where I can buy a "used" diamond for a very low price?
  - blibble 3y ago
    set up as a jeweler fools who bought them as an "investment" will pile in and you can offer them nothing
j-a-a-p 3y ago
Had similar journey years ago, entering the shop naively thinking: ah, it will cost me a month' salary, soit! I wonder how this goes at the other end of the table. Seeing all these young couples crazy rationalising their purchase, not to mention their sales toolbox they have to close these deals.
maximinus_thrax 3y ago
> connecting to the stone Can you clarify what this means? It's an inanimate object with no spiritual meaning or no meaning in general. Why not connect with something cheaper, like some pebble from a river bank?
- colechristensen 3y ago
  Attaching symbolic meanings to objects is a pretty standard human thing to do and has been as long as there have been humans.
checkyoursudo 3y ago
It was a great trick, for a while at least, for diamond sellers to connect that sentimentality to something super expensive!

willcipriano 3y ago

A bit sexist though isn't it? This is one thing men should no longer feel obligated to do, in the name of equality.

Ylpertnodi 3y ago
Not if written by a woman.
- willcipriano 3y ago
  In the same sex weddings I've attended, both parties had the same or similar rings. One party didn't get a ring that was wildly more expensive than the other.
keenmaster 3y ago
You’re dunking on a fictional hyper-woke straw man in response to someone sharing a wholesome anecdote about doing something nice for their wife. Lol.
- willcipriano 3y ago
  Do you have a good argument why this tradition should stand or are you just going to make assumptions about me?
  - spoiler 3y ago
    Not the person you're responding to, but I'm confused what you're arguing against. Men proposing with a ring? Either way, to me it's someone sharing a story about a romantic gesture. If you remove your implication of sexes (or swap them), do you hold the same belief? Also, the OP never said they felt obliged because they're a man. They said their significant other appreciates this type of jewelry. Anything outside that is you projecting your own beliefs (which we don't have to discuss) into the story
    - willcipriano 3y ago
      > Men proposing with a ring? Not just a ring, a very expensive one in contrast to the one the man ends up with. A ring price gap if you will. > If you remove your implication of sexes (or swap them), do you hold the same belief? Yes and society does generally in these matters as well. There was a number of expectations of women in marriage historically that they have been liberated from, yet this expectation remains for men at some level. > Also, the OP never said they felt obliged because they're a man. They said their significant other appreciates this type of jewelry. He might appreciate sports cars, there isn't a industry trying to get her to buy him a sports car and via conspicuous consumption, socially siginal her value as a wife to his friend group and family. Sports car showrooms aren't full of anxious young couples, taking out loans so he can pull up in something with 500 horsepower on the special day. Why?
      - spoiler 3y ago
        > Yes and society does generally in these matters as well. There was a number of expectations of women in marriage historically that they have been liberated from, yet this expectation remains for men at some level. Different circles of people have different expectations, and I think that's okay. I still think we're over-analysing an anecdote here. He was attrac to a woman—for the sake of the argument, but we don't know this—has those expectations. So, he must've been fine with them! If there was a big disparity on world views, we'd never have lived to have this discussion, as the story wouldn't have happened. I guess what I'm trying to say is, of they're happy, who are we to judge them? Traditional or not. I'm personally with you on the stance that it's a bit of a funny tradition, but I don't think it's an egregious one. > He might appreciate sports cars, there isn't a industry trying to get her to buy him a sports car and via conspicuous consumption, socially siginal her value as a wife to his friend group and family. Sports car showrooms aren't full of anxious young couples, taking out loans so he can pull up in something with 500 horsepower on the special day. Why? I am neither into sports cars or super familiar with engagement jewelry, so I might be wrong, but I don't think the price brackets overlap, or do they? So, I'm not sure it's a fair comparison. However... I concede there's a point there. I don't know why that's the case. Maybe because traditionally men earned more while women stayed at home? I have friends who've bought their boyfriends gaming gear/consoles (I know it's not the same price range, but the sentiment was there). Regarding social signaling: maybe her family is upstanding and cares about that. So, he just wanted to impress the in-laws. We don't know! But either way, he was okay with it! It's his life to live after all. We can live ours differently
xyzelement 3y ago
I can't tell if this is satire or not, but of course you do your life your way. Maybe we're old-fashioned. My wife's done some pretty "unequal" things like 2 pregnancies and many months of getting up at night to breastfeed. So I don't mind doing some of the "unequal" things from my side. Frankly, I think I get off easy :)

m000 3y ago

"Connecting to the stone"? That's a slippery slope you're on. You could be shopping for healing stones online before you know it.

jancsika 3y ago
Given the history of the diamond trade I'm fairly sure the slope slips in the other direction!
xyzelement 3y ago
Too late to edit my comment, what I meant more is like "learned the nuances of various stones, understood the nuances of this stone and appreciated it." Maybe instead of connected I should have said something like "nerded out." But now, a few years down the road of marriage, with a house and two kids, I have a deep sentimental appreciation for the journey of which our engagement was the start. Like I said, the ring wasn't necessary to that - if we couldn't afford it we'd do something else but it was an enjoyable part.
- maximinus_thrax 3y ago
  Thanks for clarifying, makes sense. It's like me appreciating some fine coffee or my father's old records.. To each their own, I guess :)

blibble 3y ago

> If the market value of it goes to zero it already did, the second you bought it

xyzelement 3y ago
Where I can buy a "used" diamond for a very low price?
- blibble 3y ago
  set up as a jeweler fools who bought them as an "investment" will pile in and you can offer them nothing

j-a-a-p 3y ago

Had similar journey years ago, entering the shop naively thinking: ah, it will cost me a month' salary, soit! I wonder how this goes at the other end of the table. Seeing all these young couples crazy rationalising their purchase, not to mention their sales toolbox they have to close these deals.

maximinus_thrax 3y ago

> connecting to the stone Can you clarify what this means? It's an inanimate object with no spiritual meaning or no meaning in general. Why not connect with something cheaper, like some pebble from a river bank?

colechristensen 3y ago
Attaching symbolic meanings to objects is a pretty standard human thing to do and has been as long as there have been humans.

checkyoursudo 3y ago

It was a great trick, for a while at least, for diamond sellers to connect that sentimentality to something super expensive!