"Family" in medieval times was conceived much more broadly than today. So while back then the inner core of a family unit might have been much more dependent on

"Family" in medieval times was conceived much more broadly than today. So while back then the inner core of a family unit might have been much more dependent on each other and adhered to more of internally enforced rules, the actual family would have included many more people than you'd think of as "family" today with considerably less allegiance to those internally imposed rules. Also, back then power dynamics between generations and genders were different so i.e. the head of a household (oldest male in many societies) might not consider the happiness of a grand daughter relevant in his decision making. I doubt that you can make a real comparison of the "utility" of family punishment between medieval times and today without diving deep into all these aspects.