"Disgusts me" is a harsh statement to be said about one's mother (depending on other circumstances, which were not presented here). But to engage productively i

"Disgusts me" is a harsh statement to be said about one's mother (depending on other circumstances, which were not presented here). But to engage productively in the conversation: My own meager experience, as an immigrant to Canada, is that these things can be highly culturally dependant. Where & When I'm from, I feel parents sacrificed more for their kids upbringing (kids were not supposed to "get a job" in high school or university, typically stayed with their parents until marriage, were supported financially frequently beyond that point as well). Having output a lot more energy to upbringing, cultural norm at that time was largely that children will then take care of parents on the other end; frequently parents will live out their years with one of the children (while helping as babysitters etc - it's still not a one-direction relationship:) My experience in North America is that kids will become independent earlier, have jobs and some income as early as 16, frequently will move out as young as ~18 (University), obtain loans or work jobs to provide financing for university, and are unlikely to return home afterwards (*Historically! The housing crisis may bring the two approaches closer together!). As such, there's lower energy invested by parents into upbringing and somewhat lowered expectation / frequency of supporting parents later. My third anecdata observation is that some issues occur when cultures change - i.e. if parents invested a lot of energy into kids somewhere else, then they all move to North America where culturally we're less well setup to support our parents; this may occur in a "one-time" generational glitch with parents possibly left hanging. ---- That's my overall perception; as to your specific case, devil is always in the details - outsiders like us don't know, and don't need to know the background - how much your parents supported you, what happened that jeopardized their retirement, and what your overall relationship is :-/. I am planning and expecting to support my dad in at least some of his retirement (my mom passed away young), but again, I was lucky with my parents, and cultural expectations and specific family relationships differ. We all have our own story and history.