4 ms·

> Just as important are frequent, honest checkins to see how everyone is feeling on an interpersonal level. That only becomes meaningful when there is already

> Just as important are frequent, honest checkins to see how everyone is feeling on an interpersonal level. That only becomes meaningful when there is already 100% trust. People learn very quickly (usually the hard way) that honest answers are not always in their best interest.

SoftTalker 3y ago
Yep, every time I've ever worked for a manager who wants regular 1:1 meetings "just to touch base" I pretty quicky just start feeding them platitiudes that I know they want to hear. They are without exception holding these meetings because of their own self-confidence issues, if they were concerned about me getting work done they wouldn't keep pulling me away from it.
- paulryanrogers 3y ago
  How often? Do they catch on to the platitudes?
  - SoftTalker 3y ago
    Weekly meetings were the norm when this happened to me. I guess maybe "platitudes" isn't quite the right word but there just often wasn't much to say from one week to the next and saying "same as last week" was never enough, it was like we were obligated to spend 30 minutes talking about work because that is what was on the calendar. So a lot of it was repetition of stuff that my manager already knew (or should have) but for some reason wanted to hear it again week after week.
- bsder 3y ago
  > Yep, every time I've ever worked for a manager who wants regular 1:1 meetings "just to touch base" Huh? Not even slightly. I scheduled one-on-ones with my reports generally every week and no later than every other week. No exceptions for me. My reports could always opt out of them if they chose (maybe they were super busy--maybe nothing needed to be covered), but I could do so only very rarely and I forced myself to reschedule. It is vitally important to make sure that people reporting to me could get my personal attention even when I was super busy. While I'm sure some of them "fed me platitudes", they also sometimes jumped up and down about something going wrong that they didn't feel comfortable bringing up in public contexts. That's really important.
  - Scubabear68 3y ago
    Same with myself. And I can say my best manager of all time was someone I wanted to have those talks with, because I learned so much from him. Half the time we would talk about work, the other half we would talk together on various philosophical subjects. Because of those chats, he learned that I was a knowledge sponge and loved trying new things, and as a result he challenged me. I got to implement some really cool middle ware that became the bedrock of the middle office trading systems. That said, I have had bad managers where the 1:1 is a forced chore. My experience isn’t that 1:1 are bad, but that they will quickly reveal the character of the manager. I do agree that if my manager is not great, it is often best if we interact little and I can go my own way. And yes, I am lucky to have had jobs like that where I can own my path.

SoftTalker 3y ago

Yep, every time I've ever worked for a manager who wants regular 1:1 meetings "just to touch base" I pretty quicky just start feeding them platitiudes that I know they want to hear. They are without exception holding these meetings because of their own self-confidence issues, if they were concerned about me getting work done they wouldn't keep pulling me away from it.

paulryanrogers 3y ago
How often? Do they catch on to the platitudes?
- SoftTalker 3y ago
  Weekly meetings were the norm when this happened to me. I guess maybe "platitudes" isn't quite the right word but there just often wasn't much to say from one week to the next and saying "same as last week" was never enough, it was like we were obligated to spend 30 minutes talking about work because that is what was on the calendar. So a lot of it was repetition of stuff that my manager already knew (or should have) but for some reason wanted to hear it again week after week.
bsder 3y ago
> Yep, every time I've ever worked for a manager who wants regular 1:1 meetings "just to touch base" Huh? Not even slightly. I scheduled one-on-ones with my reports generally every week and no later than every other week. No exceptions for me. My reports could always opt out of them if they chose (maybe they were super busy--maybe nothing needed to be covered), but I could do so only very rarely and I forced myself to reschedule. It is vitally important to make sure that people reporting to me could get my personal attention even when I was super busy. While I'm sure some of them "fed me platitudes", they also sometimes jumped up and down about something going wrong that they didn't feel comfortable bringing up in public contexts. That's really important.
- Scubabear68 3y ago
  Same with myself. And I can say my best manager of all time was someone I wanted to have those talks with, because I learned so much from him. Half the time we would talk about work, the other half we would talk together on various philosophical subjects. Because of those chats, he learned that I was a knowledge sponge and loved trying new things, and as a result he challenged me. I got to implement some really cool middle ware that became the bedrock of the middle office trading systems. That said, I have had bad managers where the 1:1 is a forced chore. My experience isn’t that 1:1 are bad, but that they will quickly reveal the character of the manager. I do agree that if my manager is not great, it is often best if we interact little and I can go my own way. And yes, I am lucky to have had jobs like that where I can own my path.