Unfair/fair “to you” is the key to these arrangements, I think. I have found that the only real recipe for happiness in domestic life is if the parties come to

Unfair/fair “to you” is the key to these arrangements, I think. I have found that the only real recipe for happiness in domestic life is if the parties come to the table honestly and earnestly, work out some kind of arrangement they’re jointly comfortable with, and understand that this may change over time. That’s OK, and the process should then begin again. (We love iteration around here, embrace it at home too!) No one should be trapped into some sort of lopsided domestic hell hole with no option to be fulfilled and no equitable support from their other.