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I just have to ask, did you expect your ex to work 24/7 for you? When did the job of being the traditional housespouse get off? 6pm? 8pm? never? When were

I just have to ask, did you expect your ex to work 24/7 for you? When did the job of being the traditional housespouse get off? 6pm? 8pm? never? When were they simply allowed to be your partner and get to stop taking care of you? Having to walk your dog (it is your dog no matter whom wanted it) and sounds like helping to clean up dinner sure sounds like a really hard life. After you divorced did you hire a maid, etc? How is it going looking for a future spouse when you tell them you want to never do any house work at all?

deaddodo 3y ago
I didn't expect anything from them. Way to perfectly encapsulate the entitled gaslighter/perpetual victim. Glad to know that, in your mind, it's perfectly valid for someone to contribute nothing and expect a free ride. They just decided they wanted to be a traditional housespouse. I certainly would have liked them to contribute something to the household, like walking the dog that they went and got of their own accord half of the time or to contribute something in their stead of contributing to household expenses. Mostly since I was spending the majority of my hard earned money on them sitting on their ass watching TV or going to museums and cafes with friends. And the majority of my time supporting their lifestyle. I didn't ask them to be in that role, they were perfectly welcome to get a job and we could share an equal amount in all household chores. And in fact, that was the ultimatum that ended our relationship, leading into a different one of equal shares of contribution and a shared happiness (both employed, equal split of household chores).
- mobilejdral 3y ago
  And there it is, you think being a housewife contributes nothing. In your own words they were doing half of the housework, but evidently that contributes nothing and was a "free ride". > Mostly since I was spending the majority of my hard earned money on them sitting on their ass watching TV or going to museums and cafes with friends. And the majority of my time supporting their lifestyle. And again it is adorable that you think it was your money. Legally married as you found out when you divorced, money earned during marriage is legally owned by both and split. Really it sounds like you failed to have any sort of real conversation about life plans when you were younger. You then made all sorts of assumptions which not surprisingly blew up in your face. I am willing to bet anything that if they got a job and you were both employed you would have still complained that they should be doing their half of the house work, which would have been all of the house work and you would have "walked the dog" as your half. And if you two had kids, of course you wouldn't have helped there either and she could see that hell coming. Sounds like you wanted a bangmaid and not a life partner.
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  - deaddodo 3y ago
    > And again it is adorable that you think it was your money. Legally married as you found out when you divorced, money earned during marriage is legally owned by both and split. It's adorable you think we were married. They got nothing in the break up other than a lost ride and a one-way ticket to a deadend job. Oh, and a dog they tried abandoning on the streets a couple months later. Real upstanding person you're defending there because of your imagined solidarity in gender/perspective. > Sounds like you wanted a bangmaid. Nope, just a partner. Funny how you're stuck on the one point of housework when I made it clear from the beginning that I would prefer they go earn their own money and we do a 50/50 split of chores. Obviously, because you know that that is a totally reasonable stance and you'd look ridiculous for saying they deserve to stay at home and do nothing while using someone else's money and effort to live off of; so you try to reframe it as some desire on my part. It's not working, move on. You also probably think any man you date that wants to "go dutch" is a deadbeat too. You'll say no, because you know it'll look hypocritical; but we both know what you actually think, statistically. Really shows how you most definitely treat your current partner. I truly hope they haven't legally entangled themselves to you.
    - mobilejdral 3y ago
      > deserve to stay at home and do nothing Good luck with that. It is clear how you value that work.
      - deaddodo 3y ago
        And it's clear how little value you offer.

deaddodo 3y ago

I didn't expect anything from them. Way to perfectly encapsulate the entitled gaslighter/perpetual victim. Glad to know that, in your mind, it's perfectly valid for someone to contribute nothing and expect a free ride. They just decided they wanted to be a traditional housespouse. I certainly would have liked them to contribute something to the household, like walking the dog that they went and got of their own accord half of the time or to contribute something in their stead of contributing to household expenses. Mostly since I was spending the majority of my hard earned money on them sitting on their ass watching TV or going to museums and cafes with friends. And the majority of my time supporting their lifestyle. I didn't ask them to be in that role, they were perfectly welcome to get a job and we could share an equal amount in all household chores. And in fact, that was the ultimatum that ended our relationship, leading into a different one of equal shares of contribution and a shared happiness (both employed, equal split of household chores).

mobilejdral 3y ago
And there it is, you think being a housewife contributes nothing. In your own words they were doing half of the housework, but evidently that contributes nothing and was a "free ride". > Mostly since I was spending the majority of my hard earned money on them sitting on their ass watching TV or going to museums and cafes with friends. And the majority of my time supporting their lifestyle. And again it is adorable that you think it was your money. Legally married as you found out when you divorced, money earned during marriage is legally owned by both and split. Really it sounds like you failed to have any sort of real conversation about life plans when you were younger. You then made all sorts of assumptions which not surprisingly blew up in your face. I am willing to bet anything that if they got a job and you were both employed you would have still complained that they should be doing their half of the house work, which would have been all of the house work and you would have "walked the dog" as your half. And if you two had kids, of course you wouldn't have helped there either and she could see that hell coming. Sounds like you wanted a bangmaid and not a life partner.
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- deaddodo 3y ago
  > And again it is adorable that you think it was your money. Legally married as you found out when you divorced, money earned during marriage is legally owned by both and split. It's adorable you think we were married. They got nothing in the break up other than a lost ride and a one-way ticket to a deadend job. Oh, and a dog they tried abandoning on the streets a couple months later. Real upstanding person you're defending there because of your imagined solidarity in gender/perspective. > Sounds like you wanted a bangmaid. Nope, just a partner. Funny how you're stuck on the one point of housework when I made it clear from the beginning that I would prefer they go earn their own money and we do a 50/50 split of chores. Obviously, because you know that that is a totally reasonable stance and you'd look ridiculous for saying they deserve to stay at home and do nothing while using someone else's money and effort to live off of; so you try to reframe it as some desire on my part. It's not working, move on. You also probably think any man you date that wants to "go dutch" is a deadbeat too. You'll say no, because you know it'll look hypocritical; but we both know what you actually think, statistically. Really shows how you most definitely treat your current partner. I truly hope they haven't legally entangled themselves to you.
  - mobilejdral 3y ago
    > deserve to stay at home and do nothing Good luck with that. It is clear how you value that work.
    - deaddodo 3y ago
      And it's clear how little value you offer.