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I pay for everything. I also do ~50% if the housework and childcare, as I’m mostly retired. Some people will think that’s unfair (my income is mostly sourced f

• deaddodo 3y ago
  While it is slightly about the money, it's mostly about the inequity of work. You say "doing the work"...well, the person with the job is doing 8hrs/day and 40hrs/wk to pay for everything. You should be willing to put in some sort of equity of work. If the household chores somehow took anywhere near 40hours a week, sure the argument goes out the window; but the easy solution is go get a job, and then just split the chores down the middle. They don't have to pay for your lifestyle anymore, and there's no argument about being someone's servent. But I don't see what's weird about saying "I don't want to pay and work for someone who does nothing or nowhere near the equivalent". You're retired, you're not doing "the work"...it makes sense that you also contribute.
• TheNewsIsHere 3y ago
  Unfair/fair “to you” is the key to these arrangements, I think. I have found that the only real recipe for happiness in domestic life is if the parties come to the table honestly and earnestly, work out some kind of arrangement they’re jointly comfortable with, and understand that this may change over time. That’s OK, and the process should then begin again. (We love iteration around here, embrace it at home too!) No one should be trapped into some sort of lopsided domestic hell hole with no option to be fulfilled and no equitable support from their other.