The "niggardly" example is cute, as is not being able to use "oriental" to describe John Cho's ancestry (he's Korean). I think that they serve as a distraction

The "niggardly" example is cute, as is not being able to use "oriental" to describe John Cho's ancestry (he's Korean). I think that they serve as a distraction to the actual issue at hand, though. The actual issue at hand is that "lighten up" is such an obvious response, but it's usually not actually helpful. The problem is that we live in a world where you can't easily determine a priori what will be considered "offensive" That's only a problem if you're not secure enough to handle feedback on your behavior. The original article is all about how she wants to be able to address these very real slights so that people can know what to do (or what not to do) next time. What happens when she gives the specific feedback of telling people what not to do? They respond with the classic bullying tactic of telling her to grow a thick skin. So, you make a mistake and offend somebody, fortunately that's not a capital offense. You get to continue living and learn not to say bullshit sexist things and learn how to be a real adult. Easy.