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＞ How you handle feedback and responsibility with your direct-reports is going (most of the time) how you do/ought to do things with your own children Your chi

＞ How you handle feedback and responsibility with your direct-reports is going (most of the time) how you do/ought to do things with your own children Your children don't have the option to show you the finger and move to another family. Nor (hopefuly) are you paying them to be your kids. I think it fundamentally changes what you should expect from one and not the other, especially regarding responsibilities and ownership. And I'm sure you won't address your son not taking out the trash the same you'd deal with a team member that don't release the features on time.

nvahalik 3y ago
> I think it fundamentally changes what you should expect from one and not the other Not exactly. I want my kids to become great people. I genuinely care about them and their well-being. This is the same thing with the people that I work with and for. I care about them and want to them to get better. > And I'm sure you won't address your son not taking out the trash the same you'd deal with a team member that don't release the features on time. Maybe, maybe not. Did they "give the finger" or did something just happen that is a learning experience? If it's a communication problem, these are fundamentally easy to address.
- makeitdouble 3y ago
  > I care about them and want to them to get better. Those are the same words but pointing to a radically different reality. I care about my coworkers being healthy, but there are clear boundaries that I won't pass over. If they drink all nights all week stay alive during the day through piles of enerfy drinks, I won't have much to say if it doesn't affect their work. Same way I can go any length to help my kid succeed at school, including changing school, paying for tuitions, changing their diet and whole life rythm to improve their focus etc. Helping my colleagues succeed goes as much as talking to them and changing their tasks/career path.

nvahalik 3y ago

> I think it fundamentally changes what you should expect from one and not the other Not exactly. I want my kids to become great people. I genuinely care about them and their well-being. This is the same thing with the people that I work with and for. I care about them and want to them to get better. > And I'm sure you won't address your son not taking out the trash the same you'd deal with a team member that don't release the features on time. Maybe, maybe not. Did they "give the finger" or did something just happen that is a learning experience? If it's a communication problem, these are fundamentally easy to address.

makeitdouble 3y ago
> I care about them and want to them to get better. Those are the same words but pointing to a radically different reality. I care about my coworkers being healthy, but there are clear boundaries that I won't pass over. If they drink all nights all week stay alive during the day through piles of enerfy drinks, I won't have much to say if it doesn't affect their work. Same way I can go any length to help my kid succeed at school, including changing school, paying for tuitions, changing their diet and whole life rythm to improve their focus etc. Helping my colleagues succeed goes as much as talking to them and changing their tasks/career path.