> As someone who grew up as a nerd and only later discovered the joys of sports and fitness: > > This idea that physical fitness is "war" and excruciating pain

> As someone who grew up as a nerd and only later discovered the joys of sports and fitness: > > This idea that physical fitness is "war" and excruciating painful and only for jocks is largely self-inflicted by nerds upon themselves. It comes from movies and TV and internet tropes more than the real world. I can refute this at least in my upbringing (boys athletics in rural US south public schools). I played organized baseball and basketball through middle school, and even in the earlier grades it was quite competitive. Parents were really pushing their kids. I sucked and loathed disappointing everybody including my father. In high school I was no longer in athletics but I was in band, and where I'm from band exists to support the football team. So we were always hanging out around the football players, and I got to witness the culture first hand. A lot of parents are convinced their kids are (or could be) stars, and that does rub off on them. It's a massive amount of pressure. Even if you already know you're not actually in the running, social status is still tied to performance, and in high school social status is everything. Later in life, free from such delusions, rec sports are totally different. Nobody is out there trying to get a scholarship. Nobody dreams of becoming a millionaire. Nobody thinks that if they just manage to perform a little bit better, finally they will be popular and cool. Nobody thinks that they can finally satisfy their hyper-critical fathers if they just execute that play correctly. Everybody knows the stakes are low. The "it's not whether you win or lose, it's how you play" finally makes sense. So I can't say it's universally true, but there's good reason that these tropes exist. p.s. - I now have a daughter in middle school soccer. It is very different than high school boy's football, but I still see a lot of pressure placed on these girls, especially the ones that are pretty good. The coach does a good job of supporting the less talented kids and promoting teamwork, but it's not easy and they still feel the pressure. I know my daughter beats herself up every time they lose and is very hard on herself when she makes a mistake.