5 ms·

It sounds like your therapist is letting their personal opinions into your session. I'm not an expert, but that sounds like a professional no-no.

swagasaurus-rex 3y ago
... If there is no alternative, maybe the therapist is correct
- MerelyMortal 3y ago
  Perhaps, but (again, not an expert), I think the therapist should be asking questions (Socratic Method) to get the patient to come to that conclusion themselves.
geodel 3y ago
Agree. In my experience Furniture therapists are too opinionated nowadays.
onlyrealcuzzo 3y ago
Is it really worth stressing yourself out over buying a hold-over bookshelf until you can find yourself a better one? If you've got money for a therapist for this type of issue - it probably isn't. You can get a custom-made bookshelf from Amish country for the cost of less than 5 therapy sessions.
- donatj 3y ago
  My health insurance covers my therapy except for a small copay. I would not be going were I paying out of pocket.
crazygringo 3y ago
A large part of therapy can be pointing out cognitive distortions. The idea that you need a bookshelf to last you for the rest of your life is actually a pretty reasonable thing for a therapist to question. People come into therapy with a lot of strongly held ideas that wind up negatively impacting their relationships and lives. E.g. winding up in fights with your spouse because you insist on a bookshelf to last a lifetime, while they just want to get something reasonably priced and move on from the issue. So trying to figure out where the desire comes from for an object that lasts a lifetime is actually a pretty reasonable therapeutic path of exploration. It's the old serenity prayer -- "the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". There might be a lot of wisdom here in deciding that reasonably-priced bookshelves don't last a lifetime anymore, that that's not something you can change or want to spend time and effort on changing, and deciding you can finally be OK with that. To just make the choice to either buy a cheap one that doesn't last or an "overly expensive one" that does, accept it, and move on.
SketchySeaBeast 3y ago
To me it sounds like someone who wants internet strangers to agree with them in opposition to their therapist. Not knowing any of the other details that's as far as I'm willing to go with the assuming.
tome 3y ago
I wonder if commenters on Psych News question the professional judgement of IT workers based on second hand reports of their behavior.
donatj 3y ago
Top level commenter here - for what it’s worth, as a someone who is perpetually indecisive, I enjoy getting my therapists opinions. He used to be a bicycle mechanic and has a very down to earth attitude towards therapy. Honestly one of my major life stressors is just general home maintenance and he’s offered some pretty great advice.

swagasaurus-rex 3y ago

... If there is no alternative, maybe the therapist is correct

MerelyMortal 3y ago
Perhaps, but (again, not an expert), I think the therapist should be asking questions (Socratic Method) to get the patient to come to that conclusion themselves.

geodel 3y ago

Agree. In my experience Furniture therapists are too opinionated nowadays.

onlyrealcuzzo 3y ago

Is it really worth stressing yourself out over buying a hold-over bookshelf until you can find yourself a better one? If you've got money for a therapist for this type of issue - it probably isn't. You can get a custom-made bookshelf from Amish country for the cost of less than 5 therapy sessions.

donatj 3y ago
My health insurance covers my therapy except for a small copay. I would not be going were I paying out of pocket.

crazygringo 3y ago

A large part of therapy can be pointing out cognitive distortions. The idea that you need a bookshelf to last you for the rest of your life is actually a pretty reasonable thing for a therapist to question. People come into therapy with a lot of strongly held ideas that wind up negatively impacting their relationships and lives. E.g. winding up in fights with your spouse because you insist on a bookshelf to last a lifetime, while they just want to get something reasonably priced and move on from the issue. So trying to figure out where the desire comes from for an object that lasts a lifetime is actually a pretty reasonable therapeutic path of exploration. It's the old serenity prayer -- "the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference". There might be a lot of wisdom here in deciding that reasonably-priced bookshelves don't last a lifetime anymore, that that's not something you can change or want to spend time and effort on changing, and deciding you can finally be OK with that. To just make the choice to either buy a cheap one that doesn't last or an "overly expensive one" that does, accept it, and move on.

SketchySeaBeast 3y ago

To me it sounds like someone who wants internet strangers to agree with them in opposition to their therapist. Not knowing any of the other details that's as far as I'm willing to go with the assuming.

tome 3y ago

I wonder if commenters on Psych News question the professional judgement of IT workers based on second hand reports of their behavior.

donatj 3y ago

Top level commenter here - for what it’s worth, as a someone who is perpetually indecisive, I enjoy getting my therapists opinions. He used to be a bicycle mechanic and has a very down to earth attitude towards therapy. Honestly one of my major life stressors is just general home maintenance and he’s offered some pretty great advice.