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As someone who does not have children I find it at times difficult to interact with parents specifically because of this mentality. Anything that challenges the

As someone who does not have children I find it at times difficult to interact with parents specifically because of this mentality. Anything that challenges their authority over the kids (correct parenting, behavior, values etc) can be seen as a direct attack and people will get very rude and offensive. Varying levels of aggressiveness... but as someone on the other side of this there seems to be very little warning or notice that even minor transgressions can cause defensive outbursts. There is NO LIMIT to what people will do for their kids and sometimes in a very corporate way they will use those kids to justify their awful behavior on others. I'm dealing with some burnout related to bad job experiences, something in the way you punctuated your statement just gave me the heebie jeebies. I apologize if this is rude just trying to articulate something I can't quite explain. Family members have kids that are awesome, I have friends that are parents that have managed to remain respectful and tolerant. I think having kids changes your brain in an irrevocable way and sometimes people don't want to admit that.

Glawen 3y ago
> Anything that challenges their authority over the kids (correct parenting, behavior, values etc) can be seen as a direct attack and people will get very rude and offensive. I'll ignore parenting advice, even more from people without children. The thing is that everyone is different, and I don't believe that there is a better way or a miraculous method which will make your kids the greatest. Secondly, it is a selfish reason: Being parent is a unique opportunity to grow a human to your values, and hopefully leading to success. I don't see why I should adopt someone else's values.
- dirtybirdnj 3y ago
  > I don't see why I should adopt someone else's values. Sticking to your values is all well and good but being willfully resistant to introspection is the problem. Assuming your values are always good and never without bias is lying to yourself. Nobody is perfect. My parents tell me VERY convincing stories about how I had a great childhood and they did the best they could. They fucked me up in ways they could have never imagined and at times they just CAN'T understand why what they taught me isn't helpful or useful. Pass on values to your kids but make sure you're not giving them blind spots too. This requires honesty and self evaluation most people are unwilling to engage in.

Glawen 3y ago

> Anything that challenges their authority over the kids (correct parenting, behavior, values etc) can be seen as a direct attack and people will get very rude and offensive. I'll ignore parenting advice, even more from people without children. The thing is that everyone is different, and I don't believe that there is a better way or a miraculous method which will make your kids the greatest. Secondly, it is a selfish reason: Being parent is a unique opportunity to grow a human to your values, and hopefully leading to success. I don't see why I should adopt someone else's values.

dirtybirdnj 3y ago
> I don't see why I should adopt someone else's values. Sticking to your values is all well and good but being willfully resistant to introspection is the problem. Assuming your values are always good and never without bias is lying to yourself. Nobody is perfect. My parents tell me VERY convincing stories about how I had a great childhood and they did the best they could. They fucked me up in ways they could have never imagined and at times they just CAN'T understand why what they taught me isn't helpful or useful. Pass on values to your kids but make sure you're not giving them blind spots too. This requires honesty and self evaluation most people are unwilling to engage in.