4 ms·

I think another commenter in this thread had a good answer (it was his understanding of California law). You can politely ask a coworker on a date, but if that

• einhverfr 15y ago
  And if that co-worker says, "I can't. I am busy tonight" Does that mean you can't ever ask again? Or if you ask five times and are politely but not definitively turned down can you ask five more times? 25 more times? Is there no limit? Now we might say there is an obligation to say something definitive. But then you get into a problem. What if there is a power difference? What if you are a general manager of one business unit asking a floor worker in a different business unit out on a date? Maybe the floor worker is afraid if she hurts your feelings, there will be career consequences? So does that change things? I don't think sexuality (and that includes romance if we are honest) admits of really simple rules except maybe magic safe words. These things also thrive on mixed messages. Magic safe words ("no" and "stop") protect against the worst problems (sexual assault) but not unwanted attention (how am I supposed to definitively know whether the attention is wanted or not? I can't read minds....), and they don't address the areas where people may want to try to get out of something letting the other person down gently.