4 ms·

"In the workplace, open competitiveness and overt displays of hierarchical dominance (boy's game) are perfectly acceptable, but figuring out the motives of your

• Cushman 15y ago
  I iPad-downvoted you, sorry-- I actually agree 100%. It's important to keep in mind in general that even members of oppressed classes can be discriminatory, and it's no less of a problem.
• mtrimpe 15y ago
  Argh, I knew I shouldn't have used a broad description of male behavior and narrow one of the female. The male equivalent of what I described here would be when two managers shouting against each other in ever stronger terms that they are more important and have more authority than the other until one backs down. Equally destructive I believe, but something you'd never see a woman engage in.
  • tptacek 15y ago
    I think you're writing these comments with the best intentions but also that you should probably stop digging.
    • mtrimpe 15y ago
      You're probably right. I tried to get a positive message across (i.e. 'Embrace your femininity to your advantage.') I ended up sounding vindictive though, probably because I am at some level. It's hard to publicly talk about this and even harder to find the right constructive tone between the indignation, anger and resentment that (for me) have accompanied my non-standard gender identity. And even though I don't know what to make of the large number of downvotes, I'm still glad I tried. :)
• jQueryIsAwesome 15y ago
  > The fact that you think this form of behavior is more natural to women than men is actually quite sexist. All gender generalizations are sexist? That doesn't make sense; there are generalizations that are true even if that population doesn't like those generalizations (ie: women are physically less capable than men) and in some situations it may be important to have them in mind. What could be sexist is to speak out those generalizations in an environment where it could blur the qualities that are actually needed for the context (in this case her performance as a programmer) but not in places such as an open forum like this comment section.
  • mtrimpe 15y ago
    Thanks for the backup. People around here tend not to realize that sharing something like this leaves you feeling pretty darn vulnerable.
    • Fred_Flintstone 15y ago
      I agree with what you said and respect the vulnerable position you have put yourself in. No matter where you say what you just said it may be construed as sexist by some people. There is some axis of reactionary behaviours, with "passive-aggressiveness / indirectness" on the left, and "meanness / directness" on the right, and in general women are further to the left and men are further to the right. Anyway, I wrote a post based partly off the things you have written and hope that you do not disagree with anything I have wrote. I'd love to hear your feedback? You can read it here: http://redd.it/r8bk5 http://redd.it/r8bk5
      • mtrimpe 15y ago
        Absolutely spot on and I really love that you took this and ran with it. I couldn't have thought of a greater compliment! The only minor quip is that it feels slightly odd to be called a beta when I felt closer to being the alpha-female, but I agree that it works for the purpose of the story. Probably just my pride talking ;)
    • astine 15y ago
• yycom 15y ago
  No, it's very much active aggression, only covert. See also "politics".