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"Start wearing sweaters, even though my breasts feel like they're boiling in there (yup, that's one reason women like low tops, guys)?"
by richardk 15y ago
"Start wearing sweaters, even though my breasts feel like they're boiling in there (yup, that's one reason women like low tops, guys)?"
- Tichy 15y agoI find it hard to believe that low cut dresses are the only possible solution here.
- seanc722 15y agoErm.. Why does it have to be a low cut dress. I see plenty of light dresses that would be suitable for professional situations that wouldnt bring out these comments. Men should be allowed o have there shirts unbuttoned down to their chest because their chests are hot from all the hair?
- msbarnett 15y ago> I see plenty of light dresses that would be suitable for professional situations that wouldnt bring out these comments. Am I seeing this? Are you saying that if she didn't want to hear inappropriate comments, she shouldn't have dressed that way?
- loganfrederick 15y agoI think most people in most modern societies would agree a line should be drawn somewhere. If she wore a bikini to work, is it really fair to expect every guy to not say something? Now, that "something" should be closer to "you should change your outfit" than "I'd hit that", but still, the responsibility for the dress and generally accepted code of conduct falls on the woman in that case. I don't see this stance as sexist because, as others have noted, we expect similar conduct from men.
- estel 15y agoBut isn't saying "You're not dressed in line with our code for dress and appearance" the complaint here? I thought that with respect to low-cut/suggestive tops, the problem was never that they weren't professional clothing (with respect to the workplace in question) - which of course is an entirely independent and asexual issue - but that some people made inappropriate comments and thought it acceptable.
- MPSimmons 15y agoI think that a dress low-cut enough to be considered unprofessional is a sexual issue by default. Professional standards and decorum exist, in part, to prevent a sexualized environment. How is it judged that a man's pants are too tight to be professional, or a woman's dress is too short, and what are the reasons? The reasons are sexual, and I might be wrong in this, but I would guess the line exists where people of either gender would begin commenting.
- Cushman 15y ago> Men should be allowed o have there shirts unbuttoned down to their chest ...yes?
- erikpukinskis 15y agoI see plenty of light dresses that would be suitable for professional situations that wouldnt bring out these comments I think you might not be fully aware of the extent of body-related comments that women get. I know women with breasts of such a size that they ALWAYS get comments, regardless of what they're wearing.
- cbs 15y ago>Men should be allowed o have there shirts unbuttoned down to their chest because their chests are hot from all the hair? We can, and I do. There are very different showing-chest expectations from us, we can even show our nipples in non-work public.
- Jem 15y agoI can tell you have absolutely no idea how hard it is to find flattering clothes for larger breasts.
- estel 15y agoDoes it matter? It can still be the complete account of someone's reasoning for wearing particular clothing.
- dbecker 15y agoThis is about to get massively downvoted... but oh well. Of course it matters! Would you say it's "complete account of my reasoning" if I wore t-shirts to work because they are comfortable? But I wear a dress shirt and tie because my company is trying to project just that type of stuffy image. The tie is uncomfortable... but that's life. The breast-comment in this story wasn't the appropriate way to tell her if she was dressing unprofessionally... but most of us sacrifice comfort to dress professionally every day we go to work. Are you suggesting that she is an exception, and she should wear whatever is most comfortable?
- rosser 15y agoYou're the one that chose to work in an environment where a coat and tie are de rigueur, and the comment about a low-cut dress had fuck-all to do with whether she was dressed professionally or not. It was verbal leering, pure and simple.
- Tichy 15y agoShe chose to work in an environment where wearing such a dress elicits leery comments. I guess her impression is that there are only such environments, but I seriously doubt that.
- djcapelis 15y agoI find it hard to believe that you think women should have to dress differently so as not to attract a running commentary.
- tomp 15y agoMaybe not should, but could? I'm not saying that it's their fault, but there certainly are ways to prevent what they're experiencing. We men have to deal with another type of assault, physical assault. Most of my male friends were assaulted in one way or another (in clubs, on the street, ...) before the age of 20, in Slovenia. Yes, we could blame other people, but a matter of fact is that we are more likely targets than women, and it pays off to avoid situations that could result in physical violence.
- wpietri 15y agoYou're not just saying could. Because there are a lot of things she could do. She could flap her arms and make chicken noises. She could read a newspaper. She could tazer somebody. She could fold everybody paper hats. There are pretty much an infinite number of things she could do, and we all know that. So when you focus on some small set of those, you're not just saying "could". When you say, "Oh gosh, if only those women could learn from my youth and just avoid situations where people might be sexist (say, by staying home and making babies)," then you're shifting the burden of action from the culprit to the victim. It's bullshit. Everybody has the right to go to work without having to deal with sexual, sexist crap like this. But suppose she followed your advice and wore only turtlenecks. Golly, then we've eliminated one symptom. But as she remarks in the article, she's just gone from "slut" to "ice queen". What do you recommend she wear to fix that? And what outfit keeps people from seeing her as the person to organize a potluck or take notes?
- Tichy 15y agoI didn't say any such thing. What you wear projects a message, though. I didn't say that it gives people the right to treat you in whatever way, but it might be worth thinking about. Some companies choose to introduce uniforms...
- ryanwaggoner 15y agoMens' clothes are completely different from womens', though, particularly in what constitutes "sexually attractive" clothing (which the term "low-cut dress" seems to imply). Do women have a higher body temperature that they have to wear less clothing to account for?
- richardk 15y agoSo, do guys wear shorts to draw attention to their legs or because it's more comfortable? Because it's more comfortable. So, maybe it's possible that a woman might wear a low cut dress because it's more comfortable?
- gaius 15y agoWell, it's more subtle than that. A male may wear shorts to be comfortable, but he's wearing a sleeveless top because he wants to show off his biceps. Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander.
- reddit_clone 15y ago> A male may wear shorts to be comfortable, but he's wearing a sleeveless top because he wants to show off his biceps. Or to air out his armpits !
- scott_s 15y agoAt work, I wear polo shirts because it's hot, not because I want comments on my arms. And no, I'm not presenting an absurd example as contrast. My hobbies are strength training and jiu jitsu. I have large arms. I also know what women with large breasts must feel like, because the first few times I wore short-sleeved polo shirts to work, I could literally watch people's eyes track my arms. I understood why - I had only previously worn long sleeve shirts, and my arms are larger than most, so they stand out. And I got no comments, but I would have felt uncomfortable if I had.
- Tichy 15y agoSure it's possible, but I don't get to wear my pyjama at work. In fact in most places I would feel awkward with shorts, too. (Now we could argue if it is the work place or the pyjama wearer who is at fault, fair point).