7 ms·

Vigil, the eternal morally vigilant programming language

121 points by alex_marchant 3y ago

lemper 3y ago
if I put square_root("branch") what then? how you gonna punish me? cut my workload? raise my paycheck?
- foota 3y ago
  Careful, if there's no calling code left to delete it might just go after the programmer :-)
  - shwaj 3y ago
    Haha, better know what you’re doing before you dare invoke ‘vigil -i’.
xeckr 3y ago
I could see this being fun in a competitive programming context.
dang 3y ago
Related: Vigil: The eternal morally vigilant programming language - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=25052001 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=25052001 - Nov 2020 (34 comments) Vigil, the eternal morally vigilant programming language - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24967144 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24967144 - Nov 2020 (2 comments) Vigil, the eternal morally vigilant programming language - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20451115 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20451115 - July 2019 (1 comment) Vigil, the eternal morally vigilant programming language - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15209452 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15209452 - Sept 2017 (48 comments) Vigil: A programming language with eternal moral vigilance - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5002597 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5002597 - Jan 2013 (118 comments)
alex_marchant 3y ago
> This is where Vigil sets itself apart from weaker languages that lack the courage of their convictions. When a Vigil program is executed, Vigil itself will monitor all oaths (implorations and swears) that have been made. If an oath is broken, the offending function (the caller in the case of implore and the callee in the case of swear) will be duly punished. > How? > Simple: it will be deleted from your source code. > The only way to ensure your program meets its requirements is to absolutely forbid code that fails to do so. With Vigil, this shall be done for you automatically. After enough runs, Vigil promises that all remaining code meets its oaths.
foota 3y ago
Replace deleted with passed to ChatGPT and you'll have VCs lining up.
- vitiral 3y ago
  Is this like God working through you to change your ways and become righteous?
taneq 3y ago
Programmer: makes minor typo Vigil: THE HERESY MUST BE PURGED
whisket 3y ago
Isn't the fib function as given heretical? Is it missing an oath, or is that the point?
- sp332 3y ago
  It ends with: swear result >= 0 return result
  - xigoi 3y ago
    Good to know that any sequence of non-negative numbers is the Fibonacci sequence.
    - bemusedthrow75 3y ago
      Well, it is lying. The function name says so.
peter_d_sherman 3y ago
Hilarious! And Brilliant! Also... deeply, deeply disturbing... on many levels... <g> (But then, sometimes some of the best humor is inseparable from being deeply disturbing on many levels...) Kudos to the sick, but funny (but still sick, let's not kid ourselves!) mind or group of minds that concocted this! You guy(s) are extremely funny, brilliant, and funny(!) -- but (and it pains me to say this!) also deeply, deeply disturbed... Which I, then again, suppose is a hallmark of great comedy... I mean, I can think of SNL and Monty Python sketches that were extremely funny -- yet also deeply, deeply disturbing on many levels... So, perhaps it is a hallmark of comedic brilliance... But then again, perhaps it is a hallmark of sickness... This we don't know -- but we do know that it is funny, and we do know that it is hilarious! <g> :-) <g>
lagniappe 3y ago
Makes me miss Terry a little bit :/
esbeeb 3y ago
I laughed. Hard.
vitiral 3y ago
Let's be clear, we all know that Virgil doesn't go far enough because PEBCAK
eternityforest 3y ago
By fire shall it be cleansed, by the blade shall it be redeemed, no evil shall taint this blessed land!
reilly3000 3y ago
Talk about executable…
nicechianti 3y ago
[dead]
jeroenhd 3y ago
> It goes without saying that any function that throws an exception which isn't caught is wrong and must be punished. Surely the failure is in the lack of handling, not in the throwing of the exception itself? I suppose the lack of checked exceptions in Python makes it impossible to blame the handler because there is no way to indicate what exceptions may be thrown.
classified 3y ago
Once it implements the Wich Hunt feature, I'm sure the Woke Apostle Task Force will adopt it in a heartbeat.
yosito 3y ago
I know this is a joke, but it would be interesting to see an actual project built with this, just for curiosity.
mikewarot 3y ago
So, when a program fails it's oath... and it must be punished... I strongly suggest it be sent to purgatory (not deleted), for redemption is always possible. This would make it possible for a programmer to redeem themselves. Of course, you could probably do a git difference... but that's not as thematically consistent.
winternewt 3y ago
"Every program can be shortened by one line, and every program contains at least one bug. By which we can infer that every program can be reduced to a single, incorrect line of code."
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
scotty79 3y ago
Why can't you in modern languages just say n:0.. like in Pascal? Why can't you narrow down numeric types to provide range checking?

121 points by alex_marchant 3y ago

lemper 3y ago

if I put square_root("branch") what then? how you gonna punish me? cut my workload? raise my paycheck?

foota 3y ago
Careful, if there's no calling code left to delete it might just go after the programmer :-)
- shwaj 3y ago
  Haha, better know what you’re doing before you dare invoke ‘vigil -i’.

xeckr 3y ago

I could see this being fun in a competitive programming context.

dang 3y ago

Related: Vigil: The eternal morally vigilant programming language - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=25052001 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=25052001 - Nov 2020 (34 comments) Vigil, the eternal morally vigilant programming language - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24967144 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=24967144 - Nov 2020 (2 comments) Vigil, the eternal morally vigilant programming language - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20451115 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=20451115 - July 2019 (1 comment) Vigil, the eternal morally vigilant programming language - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15209452 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=15209452 - Sept 2017 (48 comments) Vigil: A programming language with eternal moral vigilance - https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5002597 https://news.ycombinator.com/item?id=5002597 - Jan 2013 (118 comments)

alex_marchant 3y ago

> This is where Vigil sets itself apart from weaker languages that lack the courage of their convictions. When a Vigil program is executed, Vigil itself will monitor all oaths (implorations and swears) that have been made. If an oath is broken, the offending function (the caller in the case of implore and the callee in the case of swear) will be duly punished. > How? > Simple: it will be deleted from your source code. > The only way to ensure your program meets its requirements is to absolutely forbid code that fails to do so. With Vigil, this shall be done for you automatically. After enough runs, Vigil promises that all remaining code meets its oaths.

foota 3y ago

Replace deleted with passed to ChatGPT and you'll have VCs lining up.

vitiral 3y ago
Is this like God working through you to change your ways and become righteous?

taneq 3y ago

Programmer: makes minor typo Vigil: THE HERESY MUST BE PURGED

whisket 3y ago

Isn't the fib function as given heretical? Is it missing an oath, or is that the point?

sp332 3y ago
It ends with: swear result >= 0 return result
- xigoi 3y ago
  Good to know that any sequence of non-negative numbers is the Fibonacci sequence.
  - bemusedthrow75 3y ago
    Well, it is lying. The function name says so.

peter_d_sherman 3y ago

Hilarious! And Brilliant! Also... deeply, deeply disturbing... on many levels... <g> (But then, sometimes some of the best humor is inseparable from being deeply disturbing on many levels...) Kudos to the sick, but funny (but still sick, let's not kid ourselves!) mind or group of minds that concocted this! You guy(s) are extremely funny, brilliant, and funny(!) -- but (and it pains me to say this!) also deeply, deeply disturbed... Which I, then again, suppose is a hallmark of great comedy... I mean, I can think of SNL and Monty Python sketches that were extremely funny -- yet also deeply, deeply disturbing on many levels... So, perhaps it is a hallmark of comedic brilliance... But then again, perhaps it is a hallmark of sickness... This we don't know -- but we do know that it is funny, and we do know that it is hilarious! <g> :-) <g>

lagniappe 3y ago

Makes me miss Terry a little bit :/

esbeeb 3y ago

I laughed. Hard.

vitiral 3y ago

Let's be clear, we all know that Virgil doesn't go far enough because PEBCAK

eternityforest 3y ago

By fire shall it be cleansed, by the blade shall it be redeemed, no evil shall taint this blessed land!

reilly3000 3y ago

Talk about executable…

nicechianti 3y ago

[dead]

jeroenhd 3y ago

> It goes without saying that any function that throws an exception which isn't caught is wrong and must be punished. Surely the failure is in the lack of handling, not in the throwing of the exception itself? I suppose the lack of checked exceptions in Python makes it impossible to blame the handler because there is no way to indicate what exceptions may be thrown.

classified 3y ago

Once it implements the Wich Hunt feature, I'm sure the Woke Apostle Task Force will adopt it in a heartbeat.

yosito 3y ago

I know this is a joke, but it would be interesting to see an actual project built with this, just for curiosity.

mikewarot 3y ago

So, when a program fails it's oath... and it must be punished... I strongly suggest it be sent to purgatory (not deleted), for redemption is always possible. This would make it possible for a programmer to redeem themselves. Of course, you could probably do a git difference... but that's not as thematically consistent.

winternewt 3y ago

"Every program can be shortened by one line, and every program contains at least one bug. By which we can infer that every program can be reduced to a single, incorrect line of code."

deleted 3y ago
[deleted]

scotty79 3y ago

Why can't you in modern languages just say n:0.. like in Pascal? Why can't you narrow down numeric types to provide range checking?