4 ms·

benefit of starting to give feedback if you're not already: ============================== - a lot risk that giving feedback without asking that hurts t

benefit of starting to give feedback if you're not already: ============================== - a lot risk that giving feedback without asking that hurts the recipient: == - very small 0 ---------------------------- a lot <-impact-> If you are trying to follow this advice but are scared your feedback might "backfire," see the infographic above. The risk is non-zero, but the takeaway here should be "you should start giving feedback" not "feedback might backfire and hurt the person!" The benefits of giving more praise to managers far far outstrips the risk of misplaced praise. So: when in doubt, go for it! Asking can help, I usually send the person my feedback first if I'm unsure & ask if they want to revise it in some way. If they want to refocus on something else, that's fine. The point of it is to express gratitude & help them out.

mulmen 3y ago
Weird take. There’s risk in unsolicited feedback but nearly zero cost in simply asking. Why take the chance?
- sequoia 3y ago
  A couple reasons: Some people are excessively modest to the point of self-sabotage & will discourage you from providing deserved praise because they see it as boasting. Also, asking is another step and creates more friction in providing positive feedback. Given that this is something people already don't do, if you're trying to encourage the behaviour it should be made as easy as possible. There will be some people who can overcome their reticence to provide positive feedback, but asking them also to have an awkward conversation with the recipient beforehand is one step too many & they'll revert to simply not giving feedback at all. So I disagree that there is nearly zero cost. Some people find these conversations awkward & the cost may be them opting out of this process altogether. And again, this guide over-emphasizes the potential "risk" of providing positive feedback. Your "why take the chance" is precisely the issue I'm talking about–giving praise has been wrongly framed as a "risky" behaviour. It's like saying "you should exercise but be careful not to fall off a cliff! Check for cliffs ahead of time so you don't die!" This is overstating the risk of exercising & putting emphasis in the wrong place.
  - mulmen 3y ago
    So you think you know better than the people work with. I’m not interested in working people like you. Treat your coworkers with respect, not contempt. Your intentions don’t matter. The perception and consequences of your actions do.
    - sequoia 3y ago
      Since this argument has somehow become personal, Mr/Ms Internet Stranger, I'd encourage you consider how frequently you give positive feedback to colleagues & peers that their manager could see (i.e. "on the record"). When was the last time you've done it? How frequently have you done so in the past 6 months? For me the answers to these questions are "this morning" and "at least a dozen times." Given your extreme sensitivity to the possible damage of giving positive feedback, I am guessing you rarely engage in this "risky" behaviour. Am I wrong? If not, I don't plan to take advice on giving positive feedback from "the person who rarely gives positive feedback." I sleep quite soundly knowing that when someone does me a good turn I give them positive feedback "on the record."

mulmen 3y ago

Weird take. There’s risk in unsolicited feedback but nearly zero cost in simply asking. Why take the chance?

sequoia 3y ago
A couple reasons: Some people are excessively modest to the point of self-sabotage & will discourage you from providing deserved praise because they see it as boasting. Also, asking is another step and creates more friction in providing positive feedback. Given that this is something people already don't do, if you're trying to encourage the behaviour it should be made as easy as possible. There will be some people who can overcome their reticence to provide positive feedback, but asking them also to have an awkward conversation with the recipient beforehand is one step too many & they'll revert to simply not giving feedback at all. So I disagree that there is nearly zero cost. Some people find these conversations awkward & the cost may be them opting out of this process altogether. And again, this guide over-emphasizes the potential "risk" of providing positive feedback. Your "why take the chance" is precisely the issue I'm talking about–giving praise has been wrongly framed as a "risky" behaviour. It's like saying "you should exercise but be careful not to fall off a cliff! Check for cliffs ahead of time so you don't die!" This is overstating the risk of exercising & putting emphasis in the wrong place.
- mulmen 3y ago
  So you think you know better than the people work with. I’m not interested in working people like you. Treat your coworkers with respect, not contempt. Your intentions don’t matter. The perception and consequences of your actions do.
  - sequoia 3y ago
    Since this argument has somehow become personal, Mr/Ms Internet Stranger, I'd encourage you consider how frequently you give positive feedback to colleagues & peers that their manager could see (i.e. "on the record"). When was the last time you've done it? How frequently have you done so in the past 6 months? For me the answers to these questions are "this morning" and "at least a dozen times." Given your extreme sensitivity to the possible damage of giving positive feedback, I am guessing you rarely engage in this "risky" behaviour. Am I wrong? If not, I don't plan to take advice on giving positive feedback from "the person who rarely gives positive feedback." I sleep quite soundly knowing that when someone does me a good turn I give them positive feedback "on the record."