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I don’t think having children is protection against ending up in a nursing home.

by teg4n_ 3y ago

PaulHoule 3y ago
There is a friend of our family who had his father die of Alzheimer's disease. For a long time lived with his wife: she was of sound mind, he was of sound body, and together they did very well. She died recently and he got a lot of help from him adult children. He was fortunate in that he had worked as an English professor for a lifetime and had a lot of retirement funds and had bought long-term care insurance. He moved into a long-term care facility once his wife died and had all sorts of misadventures in the COVID-19 period (went to the hospital, the care home wouldn't take him back, he moved back in with his son who was driven nuts by his father getting up in the night to pee, getting lost and urinating in the waste basket, eventually ended up at another care home, ...) His son was able to get him a lot of extra help, hire a bunch of aides like my wife who would come around and make sure he still got some socialization. It really helped that he was not anxious at all and never got belligerent despite being confused all the time. So far as getting support this is about the best case you can image: having the financial resources to pay for care, and having family members that supplement it and make the most of it. He spent his last few months in a real nursing home and in a place like that the staff is always making mistakes (sometimes serious, often not so serious) and if you have family members watching out for you you will get much better care than someone who isn't.
NoZebra120vClip 3y ago
In some jurisdictions, the adult children of elderly people are absolutely on the hook for their care. At least this is from a financial standpoint. They could put them in a facility, or care for them at home, but they cannot abandon the parents or leave them to their own devices. I believe that this sort of regulation lay dormant for a long time, but is now being more actively enforced, because of abuses and problems that arise when children don't care at all.
xyzzy4747 3y ago
It depends which culture you live in. In the American ultra-individualistic culture, you may be right.

I don’t think having children is protection against ending up in a nursing home.

by teg4n_ 3y ago

I don’t think having children is protection against ending up in a nursing home.

There is a friend of our family who had his father die of Alzheimer's disease. For a long time lived with his wife: she was of sound mind, he was of sound body, and together they did very well. She died recently and he got a lot of help from him adult children. He was fortunate in that he had worked as an English professor for a lifetime and had a lot of retirement funds and had bought long-term care insurance. He moved into a long-term care facility once his wife died and had all sorts of misadventures in the COVID-19 period (went to the hospital, the care home wouldn't take him back, he moved back in with his son who was driven nuts by his father getting up in the night to pee, getting lost and urinating in the waste basket, eventually ended up at another care home, ...) His son was able to get him a lot of extra help, hire a bunch of aides like my wife who would come around and make sure he still got some socialization. It really helped that he was not anxious at all and never got belligerent despite being confused all the time. So far as getting support this is about the best case you can image: having the financial resources to pay for care, and having family members that supplement it and make the most of it. He spent his last few months in a real nursing home and in a place like that the staff is always making mistakes (sometimes serious, often not so serious) and if you have family members watching out for you you will get much better care than someone who isn't.

NoZebra120vClip 3y ago

In some jurisdictions, the adult children of elderly people are absolutely on the hook for their care. At least this is from a financial standpoint. They could put them in a facility, or care for them at home, but they cannot abandon the parents or leave them to their own devices. I believe that this sort of regulation lay dormant for a long time, but is now being more actively enforced, because of abuses and problems that arise when children don't care at all.

xyzzy4747 3y ago

It depends which culture you live in. In the American ultra-individualistic culture, you may be right.