I was driving up to my country home from work one day at 33 when it hit me. I will never experience anything better than I already have. Beautiful loving wife,

I was driving up to my country home from work one day at 33 when it hit me. I will never experience anything better than I already have. Beautiful loving wife, a healthy boy and girl, a quiet country home. Peace, security, food, clean water, a comfortable home and friends, boundless education. I was right. It was all down hill from there. I make twenty times more money now, and it only matters to me as a way to prevent my family from want. The best has come and gone. My remaining mission is to alleviate human suffering and die without suffering myself. I can't really blame people for the silly shit they do (check Google News for examples). Most have never had or even come close to the privilege and love I have experienced--or maybe someone shielded them from the consequences of their actions, which makes for intolerable adults. For me to judge them using the experience I know would be ridiculous. I remember my consciousness snapping into its current state one day at three years old--like a sudden awakening. Since that moment in that old farm house in Ohio, my existence has left me in awe. My older brother was aborted. My younger brother was born with a life threatening disease. All the men in my family are dead, save for myself and my oldest cousin, due to the import of heroin following our most recent war (the price of oil is very high). It's lonely now and tough to look forward.