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> How unfair would that be to that someone? Having to bear the burden of being the sole reason for another to live? Is it really a burden? I've been through a

by stef25 3y ago

> How unfair would that be to that someone? Having to bear the burden of being the sole reason for another to live? Is it really a burden? I've been through a very rough year and basically just live for my two wonderful kids. The only thing worse than the suffering is knowing my kids will remember their dad as being a coward who killed himself, and will have to grow up without one. You could see it as a burden but if I was that person I'd be happy to be there for them and profoundly wish they were happier.

ekanes 3y ago
Yeah. I felt similarly about the importance of the kids when we lost a loved one. They kept us going. Life has phases, and this one will pass, and hopefully you will find the next phase to be better.
- thqoeraway 3y ago
  This is been there I think since childhood. And I am far closer to being middle aged now then I am to days of my adolescence. If this is a phase, it is one with incredible staying power.
thqoeraway 3y ago
I think it's a terribly fragile thing to tie one's life to. Say I were to give you cup of water, made of the most fragile glass to ever exist, and asked you to hold it. I'd imagine that it would be fine for a few minutes or even a few hours. Does that stay the same if I asked you to hold it for days? Or months or years? Forcing you to always have to look tie a hand to it, always having to pause every other aspect of your life so that this glass doesn't shatter from setting it down just the wrong way, or going outside in the wrong temperature? And you do so, but only because of the guilt you know you would feel if the glass did break. With a parent and child, such a relationship is inherent. To a child, mother and father are their world, their protector, their provider, their everything until they are able to fly on their own. But what of peers? Do you think such is the basis of a healthy relationship? Were it me to be the one that would shoulder another's burden as such... I think there would be a small seed of resent that would take root in my heart. One would grow like a terrible weed choking every other plant until nothing else remained. I'm scarcely able to tend to own wellbeing, there is barely a single bread crumb to spare for another.

by stef25 3y ago

ekanes 3y ago

Yeah. I felt similarly about the importance of the kids when we lost a loved one. They kept us going. Life has phases, and this one will pass, and hopefully you will find the next phase to be better.

thqoeraway 3y ago
This is been there I think since childhood. And I am far closer to being middle aged now then I am to days of my adolescence. If this is a phase, it is one with incredible staying power.

thqoeraway 3y ago

I think it's a terribly fragile thing to tie one's life to. Say I were to give you cup of water, made of the most fragile glass to ever exist, and asked you to hold it. I'd imagine that it would be fine for a few minutes or even a few hours. Does that stay the same if I asked you to hold it for days? Or months or years? Forcing you to always have to look tie a hand to it, always having to pause every other aspect of your life so that this glass doesn't shatter from setting it down just the wrong way, or going outside in the wrong temperature? And you do so, but only because of the guilt you know you would feel if the glass did break. With a parent and child, such a relationship is inherent. To a child, mother and father are their world, their protector, their provider, their everything until they are able to fly on their own. But what of peers? Do you think such is the basis of a healthy relationship? Were it me to be the one that would shoulder another's burden as such... I think there would be a small seed of resent that would take root in my heart. One would grow like a terrible weed choking every other plant until nothing else remained. I'm scarcely able to tend to own wellbeing, there is barely a single bread crumb to spare for another.