4 ms·

Talk to your co-founder and tell him that your startup's current schedule is unsustainable. Depression, irritability, and resentment are not positive qualities

by patio11 15y ago

Talk to your co-founder and tell him that your startup's current schedule is unsustainable. Depression, irritability, and resentment are not positive qualities in producing working code or customer engagement. Make such changes to your work environment as are required like the responsible adults you are. Personal life hacks: 1) All the folks telling you that diet and exercise will magically make things better are actually right in micro scale. (You can't pushup your way out of being a salaryman but it is very hard to not get a QOL boost from reguar exercise.) Blew my mind to experience this since I had always assumed it was social signaling. 2) Your startup will always send signals that it really needs you. Consider making a commitment to maintaining family/friendship/church/whatever ties so that you can maintain perspective on how much the bat signal going off really matters. 3) You'll tend to end up like the folks you hang around with. If you steep yourself 100% in startup culture, you'll tend to pick up its cultural pathologies. I mean, do your five closest friends all overwork? That might be why seeing half days off as a luxury item became your new normal. Consider reconnecting with old friends or broadening your social circle.

mattdeboard 15y ago
#3 is such a biggie. I was a Marine for 10 years, steeped in those rich, deeply ingrained cultural pathologies. It wasn't until I started making good friends outside of that culture that I realized how insane some of my life habits really were. It just so happened my new friends were programmers.
- evincarofautumn 15y ago
  I suppose the farther you get from something, the more absurd it will seem.
- cchurch 15y ago
  That's interesting. Give some examples of Marine Corps cultural pathologies.
  - mattdeboard 15y ago
    Honestly there's almost too many to name. edit: Ok, well prominently there's the "zero defect mentality" that was supposedly eradicated from the military in the past 20 or 30 years but is still very much present. Obviously this varies from command to command, but... anyway that's probably more big-picture than you're thinking of. One small way (small as in every day life for people not big Marine Corps issues) is this notion I'd guess I'd describe as "maximal accountability" for your actions. Which is good up to a point but when coupled with the zero-defect thing, tthen suddenly you're living a life where there's no such thing as "not a big deal." This also translates into being treated like a child when you're not in a combat zone, with curfews, checking in, signing in and out on your own personal time, and so forth. I get why it happens but as a 30-year-old guy when I got out, I was getting a little too old to be THAT accountable to someone else. Ironically, when it came to my professional life as a Marine (all easily verifiable btw if you google my name in case you're wondering if I'm another poser) there was no simpler time than being in Iraq or afloat. Bullshit levels were at a minimum because there were real things to accomplish. That's coincidentally why I love being a programmer. :)
    - nooneelse 15y ago
      Pretty please... just a couple.
    - Vergle 15y ago
      Then write about a few.
    - isleyaardvark 15y ago
      From an outside observer it seems that "zero defect mentality" has a negative influence on reporting and treatment for PTSD.
      - mattdeboard 15y ago
        Yeah, of course it does.
  - angelbob 15y ago
patrickyeon 15y ago
> Your startup will always send signals that it really needs you. Consider making a commitment to maintaining family/friendship/church/whatever ties so that you can maintain perspective on how much the bat signal going off really matters. These signals are dangerous, because you can always find something that needs to be done. In fact, those somethings almost always find you, and it's hard not to deal with things as they come to you, even if that means from when you finish supper until two hours after you should be in bed. Most of those things don't need your attention, at least not immediately. Set yourself working hours, stick to them. The mantra you're looking for is "quality (of work) over quantity (of time)". If you can't get everything you think you should do in 40 hours (or 50, or 60, but whatever number you set yourself) a week, take a moment and see what tasks or responsibilities are wasting your time. My old boss would come in on evenings and weekends to solder PCBs when we'd get first prototypes in (which wasn't his responsability). He'd throw away an evening with his family and a good night's sleep, and gain what? The prototype could be handed on to the next person a couple hours sooner the next day, out of a multi-month production schedule. (Additionally, it's easier to make mistakes when you're tired or rushed, he was not as suited to do the work as I was, and I missed the opportunity to familiarize myself with the prototype I would be debugging later.) Don't become so attuned to your company's needs (wants) that you miss out on your personal life or reduce your own value to the company.
- polyfractal 15y ago
  In academic biology, it is pretty common to put in stupid long hours and a lot of weekend work. However, we always had a running joke that "weekend work never works". Basically, that experiment you are running on the weekend - so you can get that critical data a few days quicker - will invariably fail to produce any data at all. It is doomed before you start. We were never sure if it was due to tiredness and fatigue, your mind subconsciously sabotaging you or the angry science gods. But it never worked. You were guaranteed to waste your weekend doing something that had to be repeated on Monday. So, I'm agreeing with patrickyeon. Is soldering that PCB board really important right now? Do you really need to run that experiment this weekend?
dustin 15y ago
Totally agree on the life hacks. In fact, consider them essential, not optional. It can be hard to overcome the inertia if you haven't exercised in a while, but it's ALWAYS worth the time. Get enough sleep. This should be #1 really - it's more important than exercise, but exercising helps you sleep. Find a way to get 8 hours a day for the foreseeable future and make it a priority. There are lots of ways to deal with insomnia, feel free to email me (see profile). Eat right - good food, fruit & vegetables, nuts, the usual. Don't overeat, go hungry, or stuff yourself on junk food & stimulants. Finally, make regular plans to do social/physical activities and commit to having the REST OF THE DAY off, whether it's on a weekend or a weekday evening. Your worries (and gadgets, emails, etc) should be shut off and locked away until you wake up the next morning.

by patio11 15y ago

mattdeboard 15y ago

#3 is such a biggie. I was a Marine for 10 years, steeped in those rich, deeply ingrained cultural pathologies. It wasn't until I started making good friends outside of that culture that I realized how insane some of my life habits really were. It just so happened my new friends were programmers.

evincarofautumn 15y ago
I suppose the farther you get from something, the more absurd it will seem.
cchurch 15y ago
That's interesting. Give some examples of Marine Corps cultural pathologies.
- mattdeboard 15y ago
  Honestly there's almost too many to name. edit: Ok, well prominently there's the "zero defect mentality" that was supposedly eradicated from the military in the past 20 or 30 years but is still very much present. Obviously this varies from command to command, but... anyway that's probably more big-picture than you're thinking of. One small way (small as in every day life for people not big Marine Corps issues) is this notion I'd guess I'd describe as "maximal accountability" for your actions. Which is good up to a point but when coupled with the zero-defect thing, tthen suddenly you're living a life where there's no such thing as "not a big deal." This also translates into being treated like a child when you're not in a combat zone, with curfews, checking in, signing in and out on your own personal time, and so forth. I get why it happens but as a 30-year-old guy when I got out, I was getting a little too old to be THAT accountable to someone else. Ironically, when it came to my professional life as a Marine (all easily verifiable btw if you google my name in case you're wondering if I'm another poser) there was no simpler time than being in Iraq or afloat. Bullshit levels were at a minimum because there were real things to accomplish. That's coincidentally why I love being a programmer. :)
  - nooneelse 15y ago
    Pretty please... just a couple.
  - Vergle 15y ago
    Then write about a few.
  - isleyaardvark 15y ago
    From an outside observer it seems that "zero defect mentality" has a negative influence on reporting and treatment for PTSD.
    - mattdeboard 15y ago
      Yeah, of course it does.
- angelbob 15y ago

patrickyeon 15y ago

> Your startup will always send signals that it really needs you. Consider making a commitment to maintaining family/friendship/church/whatever ties so that you can maintain perspective on how much the bat signal going off really matters. These signals are dangerous, because you can always find something that needs to be done. In fact, those somethings almost always find you, and it's hard not to deal with things as they come to you, even if that means from when you finish supper until two hours after you should be in bed. Most of those things don't need your attention, at least not immediately. Set yourself working hours, stick to them. The mantra you're looking for is "quality (of work) over quantity (of time)". If you can't get everything you think you should do in 40 hours (or 50, or 60, but whatever number you set yourself) a week, take a moment and see what tasks or responsibilities are wasting your time. My old boss would come in on evenings and weekends to solder PCBs when we'd get first prototypes in (which wasn't his responsability). He'd throw away an evening with his family and a good night's sleep, and gain what? The prototype could be handed on to the next person a couple hours sooner the next day, out of a multi-month production schedule. (Additionally, it's easier to make mistakes when you're tired or rushed, he was not as suited to do the work as I was, and I missed the opportunity to familiarize myself with the prototype I would be debugging later.) Don't become so attuned to your company's needs (wants) that you miss out on your personal life or reduce your own value to the company.

polyfractal 15y ago
In academic biology, it is pretty common to put in stupid long hours and a lot of weekend work. However, we always had a running joke that "weekend work never works". Basically, that experiment you are running on the weekend - so you can get that critical data a few days quicker - will invariably fail to produce any data at all. It is doomed before you start. We were never sure if it was due to tiredness and fatigue, your mind subconsciously sabotaging you or the angry science gods. But it never worked. You were guaranteed to waste your weekend doing something that had to be repeated on Monday. So, I'm agreeing with patrickyeon. Is soldering that PCB board really important right now? Do you really need to run that experiment this weekend?

dustin 15y ago

Totally agree on the life hacks. In fact, consider them essential, not optional. It can be hard to overcome the inertia if you haven't exercised in a while, but it's ALWAYS worth the time. Get enough sleep. This should be #1 really - it's more important than exercise, but exercising helps you sleep. Find a way to get 8 hours a day for the foreseeable future and make it a priority. There are lots of ways to deal with insomnia, feel free to email me (see profile). Eat right - good food, fruit & vegetables, nuts, the usual. Don't overeat, go hungry, or stuff yourself on junk food & stimulants. Finally, make regular plans to do social/physical activities and commit to having the REST OF THE DAY off, whether it's on a weekend or a weekday evening. Your worries (and gadgets, emails, etc) should be shut off and locked away until you wake up the next morning.