6 ms·

Luckily I got hit by a car

ck2 3y ago
So is it perspective or chemical imbalance? I mean your partner could be leaving you because you can't go to the bathroom by yourself because you are permanently disabled for the rest of your life? You'd live to 90 but unable to move by yourself? So yeah I guess you could have a brain chemical imbalance that tells you pain is lucky because it could be worse or permanent and you might get away with it being temporary? Somewhere between overly positive and depression is the right balance.
olalonde 3y ago
That's actually a subplot in Office Space (spoiler alert): https://f.clip.cafe/videos/just-remember-you-hang-in-there-long-enough.mp4 https://f.clip.cafe/videos/just-remember-you-hang-in-there-l...
- lotsofpulp 3y ago
  That site was cancerous, even with content blocker on iOS. The parable in the article is also used at the end of Charlie Wilson’s War by the character played by Philip Seymour Hoffman.
  - olalonde 3y ago
    Sorry, edited the link.
deleted 3y ago
[deleted]
steelframe 3y ago
The author was hit by a motorist. As a road cyclist, I ride predictably, visibly, and legally. Yet every close call or collision has been due to motorist impatience, inattention, and/or lawlessness. By over-emphasizing the "luck" factor and using the narrative of some inanimate force of nature "a car" causing the harm, we continue to fail to hold those directly causing the problem responsible.
- StevenWaterman 3y ago
  You're right and I do agree. But a full description of events wouldn't make for a particularly catchy title.
  - dairylee 3y ago
    I think you're missing the point. Nowhere in the article does it mention that someone was driving the car. It's just an inanimate car with no driver. It absolves any responsibility to the human behind the wheel. --- Luckily I got hit by a driver. Luckily I got hit by a car. I got hit by a driver on Sunday I got hit by a car on Sunday. --- No less catchy. It's why there are media guidelines around reporting on collisions. https://www.rc-rg.com/guidelines https://www.rc-rg.com/guidelines
    - StevenWaterman 3y ago
      No, I do understand. I'm as anti-car as the next guy. It's absurd that we have normalised multi-ton death machines travelling at high speeds within arms-reach of pedestrians. One of the first things I said after it happened was "fucking cagers", which is a phrase I picked up years ago from DIY electric bike forums. I don't own a car and hope I never have to. But it's also not as simple as driver hits pedestrian. Two drivers were involved. The resulting wreckage slid into us. I am reasonably confident that one of those two drivers is at fault - distracted or not paying enough attention and straying into the wrong lane, but I have no idea which. Maybe I'll find out eventually, when the police finish investigating. If I was reporting on the crash, then sure, maybe "a driver slid into me after crashing into another car in a collision that was maybe his fault" would be a better title.
- Retric 3y ago
  Should and is are different. Humans aren’t perfect, so you assume that risk by being unprotected near cars. Taking that risk is permitted and thus bikes are allowed on the road, but don’t confuse that for equity. Humanity has collectively decided cars have more utility than bikes. It’s possible to completely isolate bikes and cars onto separate networks that don’t overlap but humanity decided it’s generally not worth the investment. Thus you’re given the freedom to take risks, but the general assumption by juries etc is you’re partially at fault in any collision. Disagree and downvote all you want, but that’s simply reality whatever you or I personally prefer.
fouc 3y ago
This is essentially the Stoic perspective is it not?
lockhouse 3y ago
I think everyone is missing the point so far. The author is saying that everything in their life is shaped by the events they have experienced up to this point. It doesn't matter whether or not the individual event was good or bad at the time, because we ultimately can't know what impact it will have on our future.
mistercow 3y ago
This relates to something I’ve thought a lot about, which is how to have a healthy relationship with regret. I think it’s easy to get caught up in the kind of reasoning the author gives here and to end up feeling like regret is a fundamentally pointless thing. After all, if I go back ten years in a time machine and fix that mistake, I’m not only completely “re-rolling” every good thing in my life after that point, but I’m also replacing every child born in the last nine years or so with different people. What am I, history’s greatest monster? Which is why useful regret is forward-looking. It makes no sense to entertain a regret like “if only I’d left the house one second earlier,” because there’s no systematic connection between leaving the house slightly sooner and not getting hit by a car. It really is just wishing you could redo a specific dice roll. There’s no actual lesson. But a regret like “if only I’d noticed the warning signs” is different. That’s a functional, forward-looking regret which you can learn from. You don’t have to want to get in a time machine and redo your life from that point, and you can acknowledge that you simply didn’t have the experience needed to make the right decision at the time. But the feeling of regret can still help you to internalize the systematic relationship between that decision and its outcome.
- StevenWaterman 3y ago
  That matches my perspective perfectly, in a much clearer way than I've been able to express. As much as we may think we could change one event in the past to fix one problem today, it doesn't work like that. We are, as you say, pining after the chance to re-roll every event since that point in history, in a futile attempt to try and fix one small problem today. I think there definitely are situations that would warrant the desire to re-roll your entire life. But I'm nowhere near that point today. Your point about forward-looking regret has definitely given me something to think about.
- SamoyedFurFluff 3y ago
  I will warn against “if only I knew the warning signs” in situations where you actually cannot reasonably predict or it isn’t reasonable to take initiative in preventing. This is common with anxiety where something awkward or weird happens and, at some point in the past it might’ve spun out (especially in childhood where children also don’t have the capacity to gracefully handle another awkward kid), but generally most people can laugh it off and promptly forget it— treating small awkward moments as warning signs a friendship is over isn’t actually true for most friendships. (This also happens about more serious circumstances like domestic abuse, where most partners aren’t abusive but due to experiencing abuse in the past suddenly normal things are warning signs of oncoming harm that isn’t actually happening.)
hvs 3y ago
This is reminiscent of the Alan Watts parable of the Chinese Farmer (probably adapted from a Chinese parable): Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.” The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.” The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.” The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbors came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”
- faitswulff 3y ago
  This parable is linked in the article, actually. Also Derek Sivers (CD Baby) posted about it in 2009 and I rather like how it's presented there: https://sive.rs/horses https://sive.rs/horses
- The_suffocated 3y ago
  A more accurate translation can be found in Wiktionary: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E5%A1%9E%E7%BF%81%E5%A4%B1%E9%A6%AC%EF%BC%8C%E7%84%89%E7%9F%A5%E9%9D%9E%E7%A6%8F https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E5%A1%9E%E7%BF%81%E5%A4%B1%E...
  - Knee_Pain 3y ago
    [dead]
achairapart 3y ago
I think the point is that part of luck is made of just attitude. "Lucky people" may be even able to transform their bad luck into good fortune. You go to the bank, there is a heist. Somebody get shot in his left arm. The unlucky will think: "Why so much bad luck? Went to the bank and got shot!", lucky people will think: "Just a few more inches and I was dead! How lucky am I?". Perhaps unlucky people tend to concentrate on the negative aspects of the events and think about how the outcome could have been better. Lucky people tend to see the more positive side of things and reflect upon how the outcome could have been much worse.
dclowd9901 3y ago
I’ve tended toward this viewpoint myself as I’ve grown older. Just this week, our AC went out for 3 days (I live in Phoenix), and I got a pretty nasty head cold at the same time. My past self would’ve been so bitchy and moany about the situation, but my current me was more “what can ya do?” I did what I could to try to keep my family as comfortable as possible and we got through it. Turned out to be a pretty incredible week by the end of it. Side note: I truly do not mean to be flippant or victim blaming in any way, but honestly, OP, how did you get hit by a car? I’ve never even come close to getting hit by one, and I’ve changed tires on a freeway during rush hour. I mean to receive a genuine explanation here, because my children are young and I want to teach them how to be safe around roads. (I’m assuming this was a pedestrian-vehicle incident because the article is light on details)
- StevenWaterman 3y ago
  Two drivers crashed into each other head on (but offset, corner-corner) and the wreckage slid into us on the pavement. Not something you could realistically blame me for or avoid.
  - dclowd9901 3y ago
    Definitely not. That’s just shit circumstances.
- h2odragon 3y ago
  > I want to teach them how to be safe around roads. "Assume that everyone that can see you wants to kill you." It's not bad advice elsewhere, either; but its the only realistic attitude on public streets.
acqbu 3y ago
In the realm of chance and happenstance, A collision occurs - a twist of fate's dance, But let us embrace the hand we've been dealt, With gratitude and contentment deeply felt.
nth_degree 3y ago
I got hit by a car when i was a kid (as a pedestrian), and I have pondered the exact same things before. It was bad luck that I got hit, but was it good luck that the injury caused a coma, which helped my brain protect itself? Very quickly the good/bad binary becomes nonsense.
bonyt 3y ago
This reminds me of the quote from Star Trek, “There are many parts of my youth that I'm not proud of. There were -- loose threads; untidy parts of me that I would like to remove. But when I pulled on one of those threads, it unraveled the tapestry of my life.”

ck2 3y ago

So is it perspective or chemical imbalance? I mean your partner could be leaving you because you can't go to the bathroom by yourself because you are permanently disabled for the rest of your life? You'd live to 90 but unable to move by yourself? So yeah I guess you could have a brain chemical imbalance that tells you pain is lucky because it could be worse or permanent and you might get away with it being temporary? Somewhere between overly positive and depression is the right balance.

olalonde 3y ago

That's actually a subplot in Office Space (spoiler alert): https://f.clip.cafe/videos/just-remember-you-hang-in-there-long-enough.mp4 https://f.clip.cafe/videos/just-remember-you-hang-in-there-l...

lotsofpulp 3y ago
That site was cancerous, even with content blocker on iOS. The parable in the article is also used at the end of Charlie Wilson’s War by the character played by Philip Seymour Hoffman.
- olalonde 3y ago
  Sorry, edited the link.

deleted 3y ago

[deleted]

steelframe 3y ago

The author was hit by a motorist. As a road cyclist, I ride predictably, visibly, and legally. Yet every close call or collision has been due to motorist impatience, inattention, and/or lawlessness. By over-emphasizing the "luck" factor and using the narrative of some inanimate force of nature "a car" causing the harm, we continue to fail to hold those directly causing the problem responsible.

StevenWaterman 3y ago
You're right and I do agree. But a full description of events wouldn't make for a particularly catchy title.
- dairylee 3y ago
  I think you're missing the point. Nowhere in the article does it mention that someone was driving the car. It's just an inanimate car with no driver. It absolves any responsibility to the human behind the wheel. --- Luckily I got hit by a driver. Luckily I got hit by a car. I got hit by a driver on Sunday I got hit by a car on Sunday. --- No less catchy. It's why there are media guidelines around reporting on collisions. https://www.rc-rg.com/guidelines https://www.rc-rg.com/guidelines
  - StevenWaterman 3y ago
    No, I do understand. I'm as anti-car as the next guy. It's absurd that we have normalised multi-ton death machines travelling at high speeds within arms-reach of pedestrians. One of the first things I said after it happened was "fucking cagers", which is a phrase I picked up years ago from DIY electric bike forums. I don't own a car and hope I never have to. But it's also not as simple as driver hits pedestrian. Two drivers were involved. The resulting wreckage slid into us. I am reasonably confident that one of those two drivers is at fault - distracted or not paying enough attention and straying into the wrong lane, but I have no idea which. Maybe I'll find out eventually, when the police finish investigating. If I was reporting on the crash, then sure, maybe "a driver slid into me after crashing into another car in a collision that was maybe his fault" would be a better title.
Retric 3y ago
Should and is are different. Humans aren’t perfect, so you assume that risk by being unprotected near cars. Taking that risk is permitted and thus bikes are allowed on the road, but don’t confuse that for equity. Humanity has collectively decided cars have more utility than bikes. It’s possible to completely isolate bikes and cars onto separate networks that don’t overlap but humanity decided it’s generally not worth the investment. Thus you’re given the freedom to take risks, but the general assumption by juries etc is you’re partially at fault in any collision. Disagree and downvote all you want, but that’s simply reality whatever you or I personally prefer.

fouc 3y ago

This is essentially the Stoic perspective is it not?

lockhouse 3y ago

I think everyone is missing the point so far. The author is saying that everything in their life is shaped by the events they have experienced up to this point. It doesn't matter whether or not the individual event was good or bad at the time, because we ultimately can't know what impact it will have on our future.

mistercow 3y ago

This relates to something I’ve thought a lot about, which is how to have a healthy relationship with regret. I think it’s easy to get caught up in the kind of reasoning the author gives here and to end up feeling like regret is a fundamentally pointless thing. After all, if I go back ten years in a time machine and fix that mistake, I’m not only completely “re-rolling” every good thing in my life after that point, but I’m also replacing every child born in the last nine years or so with different people. What am I, history’s greatest monster? Which is why useful regret is forward-looking. It makes no sense to entertain a regret like “if only I’d left the house one second earlier,” because there’s no systematic connection between leaving the house slightly sooner and not getting hit by a car. It really is just wishing you could redo a specific dice roll. There’s no actual lesson. But a regret like “if only I’d noticed the warning signs” is different. That’s a functional, forward-looking regret which you can learn from. You don’t have to want to get in a time machine and redo your life from that point, and you can acknowledge that you simply didn’t have the experience needed to make the right decision at the time. But the feeling of regret can still help you to internalize the systematic relationship between that decision and its outcome.

StevenWaterman 3y ago
That matches my perspective perfectly, in a much clearer way than I've been able to express. As much as we may think we could change one event in the past to fix one problem today, it doesn't work like that. We are, as you say, pining after the chance to re-roll every event since that point in history, in a futile attempt to try and fix one small problem today. I think there definitely are situations that would warrant the desire to re-roll your entire life. But I'm nowhere near that point today. Your point about forward-looking regret has definitely given me something to think about.
SamoyedFurFluff 3y ago
I will warn against “if only I knew the warning signs” in situations where you actually cannot reasonably predict or it isn’t reasonable to take initiative in preventing. This is common with anxiety where something awkward or weird happens and, at some point in the past it might’ve spun out (especially in childhood where children also don’t have the capacity to gracefully handle another awkward kid), but generally most people can laugh it off and promptly forget it— treating small awkward moments as warning signs a friendship is over isn’t actually true for most friendships. (This also happens about more serious circumstances like domestic abuse, where most partners aren’t abusive but due to experiencing abuse in the past suddenly normal things are warning signs of oncoming harm that isn’t actually happening.)

hvs 3y ago

This is reminiscent of the Alan Watts parable of the Chinese Farmer (probably adapted from a Chinese parable): Once upon a time there was a Chinese farmer whose horse ran away. That evening, all of his neighbors came around to commiserate. They said, “We are so sorry to hear your horse has run away. This is most unfortunate.” The farmer said, “Maybe.” The next day the horse came back bringing seven wild horses with it, and in the evening everybody came back and said, “Oh, isn’t that lucky. What a great turn of events. You now have eight horses!” The farmer again said, “Maybe.” The following day his son tried to break one of the horses, and while riding it, he was thrown and broke his leg. The neighbors then said, “Oh dear, that’s too bad,” and the farmer responded, “Maybe.” The next day the conscription officers came around to conscript people into the army, and they rejected his son because he had a broken leg. Again all the neighbors came around and said, “Isn’t that great!” Again, he said, “Maybe.”

faitswulff 3y ago
This parable is linked in the article, actually. Also Derek Sivers (CD Baby) posted about it in 2009 and I rather like how it's presented there: https://sive.rs/horses https://sive.rs/horses
The_suffocated 3y ago
A more accurate translation can be found in Wiktionary: https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E5%A1%9E%E7%BF%81%E5%A4%B1%E9%A6%AC%EF%BC%8C%E7%84%89%E7%9F%A5%E9%9D%9E%E7%A6%8F https://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/%E5%A1%9E%E7%BF%81%E5%A4%B1%E...
- Knee_Pain 3y ago
  [dead]

achairapart 3y ago

I think the point is that part of luck is made of just attitude. "Lucky people" may be even able to transform their bad luck into good fortune. You go to the bank, there is a heist. Somebody get shot in his left arm. The unlucky will think: "Why so much bad luck? Went to the bank and got shot!", lucky people will think: "Just a few more inches and I was dead! How lucky am I?". Perhaps unlucky people tend to concentrate on the negative aspects of the events and think about how the outcome could have been better. Lucky people tend to see the more positive side of things and reflect upon how the outcome could have been much worse.

dclowd9901 3y ago

I’ve tended toward this viewpoint myself as I’ve grown older. Just this week, our AC went out for 3 days (I live in Phoenix), and I got a pretty nasty head cold at the same time. My past self would’ve been so bitchy and moany about the situation, but my current me was more “what can ya do?” I did what I could to try to keep my family as comfortable as possible and we got through it. Turned out to be a pretty incredible week by the end of it. Side note: I truly do not mean to be flippant or victim blaming in any way, but honestly, OP, how did you get hit by a car? I’ve never even come close to getting hit by one, and I’ve changed tires on a freeway during rush hour. I mean to receive a genuine explanation here, because my children are young and I want to teach them how to be safe around roads. (I’m assuming this was a pedestrian-vehicle incident because the article is light on details)

StevenWaterman 3y ago
Two drivers crashed into each other head on (but offset, corner-corner) and the wreckage slid into us on the pavement. Not something you could realistically blame me for or avoid.
- dclowd9901 3y ago
  Definitely not. That’s just shit circumstances.
h2odragon 3y ago
> I want to teach them how to be safe around roads. "Assume that everyone that can see you wants to kill you." It's not bad advice elsewhere, either; but its the only realistic attitude on public streets.

acqbu 3y ago

In the realm of chance and happenstance, A collision occurs - a twist of fate's dance, But let us embrace the hand we've been dealt, With gratitude and contentment deeply felt.

nth_degree 3y ago

I got hit by a car when i was a kid (as a pedestrian), and I have pondered the exact same things before. It was bad luck that I got hit, but was it good luck that the injury caused a coma, which helped my brain protect itself? Very quickly the good/bad binary becomes nonsense.

bonyt 3y ago

This reminds me of the quote from Star Trek, “There are many parts of my youth that I'm not proud of. There were -- loose threads; untidy parts of me that I would like to remove. But when I pulled on one of those threads, it unraveled the tapestry of my life.”