Similar for my partner, though it was never a real emergency but rather things like asking what I should bring for dinner (they're particular about food): thing

Similar for my partner, though it was never a real emergency but rather things like asking what I should bring for dinner (they're particular about food): things that are useful for them as well as for me. I always had to wait for them to randomly look at their phone, which could be any time because nothing ever made any buzz or noise. (Conversely, they did call me a few times during what were actual emergencies for them, such as a car crash.) We had a conversation and they configured their phone differently ~3 years ago. I asked them just now (look, OP, I talked to someone synchronously!) and they say it's "fine" - me: "just fine?" - them: "no it's good actually" and they'd set it up again if they had to re-make the choice. I am conscious of when I invoke the power, as with everyone, but still call somewhat regularly, so their positive rating is a good sign I suppose. Have you brought this up with your partner? Either way, yeah, this sort of thing is something you talk about only after you identify there is a problem. Ideally we'd have good defaults, and while I disagree with OP on their proposal for new defaults, their opinion is clearly borne from frustration. Perhaps phones should, when a contact calls you once while on silent, create a silent notification that asks "Allow <contact> to ring phone when calling twice within one minute?" with as buttons [No] [Buzz] and [Ring]