It seems like you're heading down a rabbit hole. All you can do is have experiences (instead of just believing on faith). If you do, it's up to you to make sens

It seems like you're heading down a rabbit hole. All you can do is have experiences (instead of just believing on faith). If you do, it's up to you to make sense of them. Trying to decide what is "real" sounds like an egoic distraction to divert you from continuing to make progress. The usual advice I hear is just to keep going.