One answer: You are responsible for your agreeableness. Your agreeableness is an OFFER to the people around you. Stop making offers that you resent honoring. A

One answer: You are responsible for your agreeableness. Your agreeableness is an OFFER to the people around you. Stop making offers that you resent honoring. Another equally valid answer: If I care about you, and to the degree I care about you, I willingly modify my behavior to help you live better and more happily, regardless of the how you may deserve or not deserve it. My wife is one of those people who will work themselves to the point of collapse without complaining. I have to be careful what I ask for because she will assign herself secret tasks to provide it. I don’t lecture her on how she deserves her misery, I remind her that I am the only person around here who swore an oath to help her, and she should ask me for what she wants and expect me to provide it. Then I try to volunteer when I see her working at something I can do. And I try to make myself easy to approach. After 32 years we have a pretty good understanding— but her endurance is worsening over time and so there are new challenges.