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I agree that it’s terrible, but you can still meet people in real life. This isn’t really aimed as a refutation your comment, but as pushback to people who are

I agree that it’s terrible, but you can still meet people in real life. This isn’t really aimed as a refutation your comment, but as pushback to people who are frustrated by these apps. It’s good to get away from them whenever possible.

lapcat 3y ago
Society has changed, though. I've seen it during my lifetime. The pandemic certainly changed everything as far as in-person socialization is concerned. But even before the pandemic, people were becoming increasingly isolated and antisocial, and there are a lot of factors at play here. Technology has changed how we interact. Instead of looking around and striking up a conversation with a stranger, they have their heads down looking at their smartphones. And the increasing prevalence of remote work has left fewer opportunities to meet people at work. Sexual mores have also changed. There's a lot more awareness of sexual harassment nowadays, which is good, but it also makes people more reticent to flirt in many situations. That's not a comprehensive list of relevant societal changes, just some factors off the top of my head. The very existence of the dating apps makes them difficult to avoid, because if that's where a significant % of the population are already looking, then you're ruling yourself out from that population by avoiding them.
- ryandrake 3y ago
  This is a great comment. The world (at least the US) has changed and IRL interactions are more fraught than when I was dating. So glad I'm married and don't have to go back to the scene. Especially your point about the danger of flirting. The difference between flirting (wanted attention) and creeping (unwanted attention) is entirely in the mind of the recipient, so you don't know which one you have done until they respond. I'm sure this causes people to play it cautiously.
  - zo1 3y ago
    I'm married too, with kids. I don't think we can just be okay with it for ourselves, we have to consider what awaits our children when they get to dating age. It's not enough for us to not destroy the world, we have to be custodians of it till we hand it over to the next generation. I'm personally not hopeful. The world is going to shit, and the only option I have available to me to safeguard my kids future is to acquire as much wealth as possible for them. If that doesn't work, that means a giant war or similar catastrophe has descended upon us and there is nothing I could have done anyways.

lapcat 3y ago

Society has changed, though. I've seen it during my lifetime. The pandemic certainly changed everything as far as in-person socialization is concerned. But even before the pandemic, people were becoming increasingly isolated and antisocial, and there are a lot of factors at play here. Technology has changed how we interact. Instead of looking around and striking up a conversation with a stranger, they have their heads down looking at their smartphones. And the increasing prevalence of remote work has left fewer opportunities to meet people at work. Sexual mores have also changed. There's a lot more awareness of sexual harassment nowadays, which is good, but it also makes people more reticent to flirt in many situations. That's not a comprehensive list of relevant societal changes, just some factors off the top of my head. The very existence of the dating apps makes them difficult to avoid, because if that's where a significant % of the population are already looking, then you're ruling yourself out from that population by avoiding them.

ryandrake 3y ago
This is a great comment. The world (at least the US) has changed and IRL interactions are more fraught than when I was dating. So glad I'm married and don't have to go back to the scene. Especially your point about the danger of flirting. The difference between flirting (wanted attention) and creeping (unwanted attention) is entirely in the mind of the recipient, so you don't know which one you have done until they respond. I'm sure this causes people to play it cautiously.
- zo1 3y ago
  I'm married too, with kids. I don't think we can just be okay with it for ourselves, we have to consider what awaits our children when they get to dating age. It's not enough for us to not destroy the world, we have to be custodians of it till we hand it over to the next generation. I'm personally not hopeful. The world is going to shit, and the only option I have available to me to safeguard my kids future is to acquire as much wealth as possible for them. If that doesn't work, that means a giant war or similar catastrophe has descended upon us and there is nothing I could have done anyways.