4 ms·

Social Media creates the illusion of social connectivity. While I might tweet a reply to Garry Tan and he might like it. It doesn't mean we are best buddies.

izzydata 3y ago
I've been mentioning how weird parasocial relationships like this are to people for at least 10 years now and everyone thinks I'm being ridiculous. I still don't think anybody should be caring about social interactions when it is on a scale of 1 to 1 million. Where it is 1 person interacting with a million people. If you can't respond to me as an individual on a 1 to 1 scale then I simply do not care about your personal life.
- vorpalhex 3y ago
  You are not ridiculous and yes, the problem is gravely concerning. I would recommend, instead of saying what people should do, is investigate why this parasocial relationship failure mode exists. Why do people not only end up in a losing proposition, but actively seek it out? (I am quite sure there is no nice well contained single answer)
  - izzydata 3y ago
    Who knows. Perhaps a lot of us are lacking a sense of community and instinctively seek it out in the wrong places. Still, I'm not going to care about who Taylor Swift's new boyfriend is unless she cares about the same for me. I'd rather be depressed and alone. Understandably not everyone is going to be so masochistic about it and will fill that gap however they can.
- tenebrisalietum 3y ago
  This was even weirder when it was common to have no capability to interact with the parasocial target at all--in the pre-Internet world--through TV, music, or movies. Before then tabloids like Enquirer Magazine gave people the sordid details of celebrities personal lives, which I always found very strange to care about.
hk__2 3y ago
> Social Media creates the illusion of social connectivity. While I might tweet a reply to Garry Tan and he might like it. It doesn't mean we are best buddies. Why would that be an illusion? If he did read your response that counts as a social interaction. People who smile at each others in random social situations are not best buddies and that’s not a problem.
- jsemrau 3y ago
  I see it as an illusion because of the interaction (smile, like), I feel like I have had a social interaction, but in reality I hadn't.
  - NoraCodes 3y ago
    But... you have. A small one, probably not one that'll have much of an impact on either of you, but it is a social interaction.
  - worrycue 3y ago
    I agree it's a social interaction. Just not an in-person one.
- RIMR 3y ago
  The problem is that there is an observable pattern of people betting all of their social capital on social media, and forming pathological connections to the people that interact with their posts the most. A lot of people have allowed social media to replace a normal social life, and so if a celebrity, or someone with a lot of social media clout follows you and interacts with you, it can be tempting to incorporate that connection into your social identity, and overvalue it.
- hot_gril 3y ago
  It's not a problem at all. There are a few serious problems with social media, but none of them are this.

izzydata 3y ago

I've been mentioning how weird parasocial relationships like this are to people for at least 10 years now and everyone thinks I'm being ridiculous. I still don't think anybody should be caring about social interactions when it is on a scale of 1 to 1 million. Where it is 1 person interacting with a million people. If you can't respond to me as an individual on a 1 to 1 scale then I simply do not care about your personal life.

vorpalhex 3y ago
You are not ridiculous and yes, the problem is gravely concerning. I would recommend, instead of saying what people should do, is investigate why this parasocial relationship failure mode exists. Why do people not only end up in a losing proposition, but actively seek it out? (I am quite sure there is no nice well contained single answer)
- izzydata 3y ago
  Who knows. Perhaps a lot of us are lacking a sense of community and instinctively seek it out in the wrong places. Still, I'm not going to care about who Taylor Swift's new boyfriend is unless she cares about the same for me. I'd rather be depressed and alone. Understandably not everyone is going to be so masochistic about it and will fill that gap however they can.
tenebrisalietum 3y ago
This was even weirder when it was common to have no capability to interact with the parasocial target at all--in the pre-Internet world--through TV, music, or movies. Before then tabloids like Enquirer Magazine gave people the sordid details of celebrities personal lives, which I always found very strange to care about.

hk__2 3y ago

> Social Media creates the illusion of social connectivity. While I might tweet a reply to Garry Tan and he might like it. It doesn't mean we are best buddies. Why would that be an illusion? If he did read your response that counts as a social interaction. People who smile at each others in random social situations are not best buddies and that’s not a problem.

jsemrau 3y ago
I see it as an illusion because of the interaction (smile, like), I feel like I have had a social interaction, but in reality I hadn't.
- NoraCodes 3y ago
  But... you have. A small one, probably not one that'll have much of an impact on either of you, but it is a social interaction.
- worrycue 3y ago
  I agree it's a social interaction. Just not an in-person one.
RIMR 3y ago
The problem is that there is an observable pattern of people betting all of their social capital on social media, and forming pathological connections to the people that interact with their posts the most. A lot of people have allowed social media to replace a normal social life, and so if a celebrity, or someone with a lot of social media clout follows you and interacts with you, it can be tempting to incorporate that connection into your social identity, and overvalue it.
hot_gril 3y ago
It's not a problem at all. There are a few serious problems with social media, but none of them are this.