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That's the idea though, if your intentions are sound but you're not getting the reactions you expect, then you need to re-evaluate how you're acting. The import
by mindwok 3y ago
That's the idea though, if your intentions are sound but you're not getting the reactions you expect, then you need to re-evaluate how you're acting. The important part is not to beat yourself up about it - bad reactions are just a way for you to learn and correct your actions, fundamentally you are still the person you think you think you are.
- lazide 3y agoThey key thing here is that what you’re describing can be interpreted several ways. One could be maladaptive (long term) and is the easy approach (or may be necessary to survive short term) - ‘oh, I need to be nicer or give more’, or ‘oh, I need to manipulate them or make them be okay with this’ which is the codependent approach. The other is to step back, realize perhaps you’re already giving too much, and it’s time to leave (safely) or deal with more blowback at the moment to set a boundary even at the risk of real problems. That takes courage and a wider view, exactly what is hard to do when in these situations though.