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I understand the idea, but I'm somewhat confused by the way it's framed. Negotiating what you spend your executive function on is part of navigating reality. P

I understand the idea, but I'm somewhat confused by the way it's framed. Negotiating what you spend your executive function on is part of navigating reality. People can exercise agency here. You can say "no" to most of these tasks and there will be zero effect. Most of the time people don't actually care that much about these tasks getting done, they're just nice-to-haves. I also disagree with the framing of it in the workplace and relationships. "EFT" is literally the purpose of a job. You take on the burden of your role so someone else doesn't have to. If a couple is happy with the division of labour, why does it matter who does more "EFT" tasks? Gendered or other differences in "EFT" tasks seem like a completely different problem. That is related to your personal negotiation of the tasks rather than an inherent problem with them. Personally I try to ruthlessly eliminate these tasks because I have poor executive function and don't want more things to deal with, but most people don't seem to be interested in doing that.

literalbatshit 3y ago
This article to a large extent exemplifies the popularization of a culture in which I am expected to understand and make accommodation for your needs and desires at all times, instead of you exercising your own agency and dealing with your own shit. This culture then dresses up this mindset in loaded terms like “emotional labor” and “executive function theft” to make it more reasonable (and to make those that disagree look more unreasonable) but it’s all bullshit. If you don’t want to send emails, find another job, or change your own job. If you don’t want to do the dishes, find another partner, or demand they change (and be prepared for them to leave instead). But rather than this, the proponents of this culture demonize all those who disagree with them. Their arguments and approaches are intentionally not rational, and are instead emotional, precisely because they require everyone else to not engage with life and their own happiness rationally.

literalbatshit 3y ago

This article to a large extent exemplifies the popularization of a culture in which I am expected to understand and make accommodation for your needs and desires at all times, instead of you exercising your own agency and dealing with your own shit. This culture then dresses up this mindset in loaded terms like “emotional labor” and “executive function theft” to make it more reasonable (and to make those that disagree look more unreasonable) but it’s all bullshit. If you don’t want to send emails, find another job, or change your own job. If you don’t want to do the dishes, find another partner, or demand they change (and be prepared for them to leave instead). But rather than this, the proponents of this culture demonize all those who disagree with them. Their arguments and approaches are intentionally not rational, and are instead emotional, precisely because they require everyone else to not engage with life and their own happiness rationally.