4 ms·

What the author calls theft is neither theft, nor any other for of unethical behavior, as far as I can tell from her description. I could just as easily say th

What the author calls theft is neither theft, nor any other for of unethical behavior, as far as I can tell from her description. I could just as easily say that she has committed theft of my attention span because I had to read her ill-considered opinion in order to fairly criticize it. But I won't say that, because it was my choice to do so and I am not a victim. She seems to be trying to criminalize the ordinary back and forth of social life. We have roles and make use of those roles. We have power and make use of it. For instance, her description of the healthcare situation is all covered, directly or indirectly, in her contract with the healthcare insurance provider; or else it is simply a matter of saying no. Don't do any of that work. Suffer the consequences. It's not theft-- it's the marketplace at work. How long before someone calls EFT a "microaggression?" Yet another front in the culture wars will open up between people who can't be bothered to assert themselves (and apparently, according to her, women don't assert themselves very much) and those who put the energy in to be assertive.

fnimick 3y ago
So when an employee shunts a task off onto a coworker abusing their agreeableness, you're saying that other coworker deserves it and that the first employee is morally justified because they haven't "put in the energy" to be assertive in a hostile working relationship?
- blablablerg 3y ago
  Almost any request can be framed as abuse in this manner. "Some stranger asked me to stand still on the street the whole day, he abused my agreeableness". Imo it is not abuse if there isn't any threat and you simply can say no. If you keep saying yes to everything you coworkers ask from you, what do you expect is going to happen? It is your own responsibility to not be a doormat, that is abusing yourself.
- satisfice 3y ago
  One answer: You are responsible for your agreeableness. Your agreeableness is an OFFER to the people around you. Stop making offers that you resent honoring. Another equally valid answer: If I care about you, and to the degree I care about you, I willingly modify my behavior to help you live better and more happily, regardless of the how you may deserve or not deserve it. My wife is one of those people who will work themselves to the point of collapse without complaining. I have to be careful what I ask for because she will assign herself secret tasks to provide it. I don’t lecture her on how she deserves her misery, I remind her that I am the only person around here who swore an oath to help her, and she should ask me for what she wants and expect me to provide it. Then I try to volunteer when I see her working at something I can do. And I try to make myself easy to approach. After 32 years we have a pretty good understanding— but her endurance is worsening over time and so there are new challenges.

fnimick 3y ago

So when an employee shunts a task off onto a coworker abusing their agreeableness, you're saying that other coworker deserves it and that the first employee is morally justified because they haven't "put in the energy" to be assertive in a hostile working relationship?

blablablerg 3y ago
Almost any request can be framed as abuse in this manner. "Some stranger asked me to stand still on the street the whole day, he abused my agreeableness". Imo it is not abuse if there isn't any threat and you simply can say no. If you keep saying yes to everything you coworkers ask from you, what do you expect is going to happen? It is your own responsibility to not be a doormat, that is abusing yourself.
satisfice 3y ago
One answer: You are responsible for your agreeableness. Your agreeableness is an OFFER to the people around you. Stop making offers that you resent honoring. Another equally valid answer: If I care about you, and to the degree I care about you, I willingly modify my behavior to help you live better and more happily, regardless of the how you may deserve or not deserve it. My wife is one of those people who will work themselves to the point of collapse without complaining. I have to be careful what I ask for because she will assign herself secret tasks to provide it. I don’t lecture her on how she deserves her misery, I remind her that I am the only person around here who swore an oath to help her, and she should ask me for what she wants and expect me to provide it. Then I try to volunteer when I see her working at something I can do. And I try to make myself easy to approach. After 32 years we have a pretty good understanding— but her endurance is worsening over time and so there are new challenges.