5 ms·

No we aren’t social animals, certainly not in rural areas. Give me a good book and a quiet afternoon in the shade of a tree with no neighbours any day.

jacquesm 3y ago
You maybe not. But having lived in very rural areas you quickly realize that your neighbors are your safety net far more than the authorities and that in a pinch you all need to be able to rely on each other. A good book isn't going to get your car out of a ditch or help locate your kid or pet when it has gone missing.
- midasuni 3y ago
  You may be, I may be not. That doesn’t lead to any conclusion than “some people like other people” I’ve never need to rely on anyone, other than of course normal economic transactions. Why would I park my car in a ditch?
  - jacquesm 3y ago
    > I’ve never need to rely on anyone, other than of course normal economic transactions. That's funny. You are relying on thousands of other people every day, all day long. you just don't realize it. And not all of those are economic transactions there is plenty of goodwill involved. For instance, you rely on other people not to kill you when you are driving. Every time a stranger saves your bacon when you make a mistake, for instance. They don't have to! But if that's your worldview I don't think I'll be able to change it. > Why would I park my car in a ditch? I don't think anybody who ever parked their car in a ditch asked that question prior to it happening and afterwards they probably still didn't know. But in areas where there is snow it isn't rare at all to have vehicles do stuff that wasn't quite in the plan. My neighbor in Canada managed to do this with a tractor. Fortunately for him I had a bigger tractor and was able to pull his out of the ditch. And when it was my turn someone kindly brought over an excavator... Society is a fabric, and no man is an island, not even you. You may have the illusion that you are but from the cradle to the grave you are 100% dependent on other people. Unless you live in the boonies and grow your own food and hunt, but if that were the case you wouldn't be writing here. Speaking of which: right now you rely on me to converse with you.
    - midasuni 3y ago
      Those are normal expectation of living in society. Talking you your neighbour is not. I’m sure it was decades ago in the curtain twitching world where people stayed living int he same street for decades, but not today in a highly movable world. Certainly not for me any my peers. any interactions I make are slot my own choosing, that I happen to live near someone is of no consequence. If I did park my car in a ditch there a plethora of recovery services that will retrieve it, whether I’m a mile from home of 200 miles from home. I have no need or desire to know anything about the recovery driver, or the pilot who flew the plane I was last on, or the guy who delivers my mail, nor the plumber who replaced my boiler last year.
      - jacquesm 3y ago
        > Those are normal expectation of living in society. Talking you your neighbour is not. Errm.. yes, that's perfectly normal.
      - rimunroe 3y ago
        > Those are normal expectation of living in society. Talking you your neighbour is not. Given how our language has a word, "neighborly", to describe friendly, helpful behavior, I think the burden is on you here for explaining why talking to your neighbor isn't a thing one can normally expect. I don't think you've done that yet. > I’m sure it was decades ago in the curtain twitching world where people stayed living int he same street for decades, but not today in a highly movable world. Certainly not for me any my peers. How old are you? I'm in my mid 30s and this describes none of my peers, including the younger ones in their late 20s. I can imagine younger folks wanting this. I certainly remember having friends who talked about wanting to move around to different cities/countries all the time in college and shortly after, but their priorities shifted over time. I have friends who love to travel, but I don't know anyone who wouldn't love either a house or an apartment they didn't have to worry about losing each year due to the landlord jacking up the rent or the building being sold to someone who wants to convert the building to condos. > any interactions I make are slot my own choosing, that I happen to live near someone is of no consequence. I'm not sure what this means. I can't imagine it's literally true as you can't really control if someone else approaches you, unless you just flatly refuse to acknowledge their presence. > If I did park my car in a ditch there a plethora of recovery services that will retrieve it, whether I’m a mile from home of 200 miles from home. I've had to wait a long time on a tow truck before when the weather was pleasant. When there's a snowstorm emergency services get slammed and delays increase. My neighbor has a truck and a snow plow, and I wouldn't hesitate to ask him if he could help unstick my car if it sank into the mud a bit. Also, he plows my driveway when the snow is heavy. We do neighborly things for them as well, like helping out when a tree falls in their yard. I don't have kids yet, but from our experiences helping our neighbors out and having grown up with neighbors we knew well, they're invaluable for raising kids. "It takes a village to raise a child" is quite real!
- CapstanRoller 3y ago
  > in very rural areas you quickly realize that your neighbors are your safety net far more than the authorities Unless you are non-white, an immigrant, LGBTQ, neurodivergent, etc...
  - biogene 3y ago
    It's a bit odd to make such a blanket statement for people living in rural areas all over the world. These are "my peeps" and we're not any of those things.
    - CapstanRoller 3y ago
      It's not about you or "your peeps" but rather about the repressive laws (and predominant culture which gives rise to such laws) in these places. I was specifically talking about rural areas in the US, since HN is predominantly a US-centric website, but my argument applies to other countries as well.
  - dTal 3y ago
    I've lived in rural areas and while there was some messed up stuff, your blanket statement wasn't entirely my experience. I would suggest that, while you might find less cosmopolitan people in rural areas, they're also more willing to overlook aspects of you that they dislike. You can't really afford to be too picky about your friendships when there's not much to choose from.
    - CapstanRoller 3y ago
      >You can't really afford to be too picky about your friendships when there's not much to choose from. Only someone extremely privileged could twist the desire for basic safety as being "picky"
reaperducer 3y ago
No we aren’t social animals And yet, here you are...
halyna_s 3y ago
Here's a great book recommendation for you - "The Little Book of Lykke: Secrets of the World's Happiest People" by Meik Wiking
morelisp 3y ago
The fuck you doing posting your opinions on social media then?

jacquesm 3y ago

You maybe not. But having lived in very rural areas you quickly realize that your neighbors are your safety net far more than the authorities and that in a pinch you all need to be able to rely on each other. A good book isn't going to get your car out of a ditch or help locate your kid or pet when it has gone missing.

midasuni 3y ago
You may be, I may be not. That doesn’t lead to any conclusion than “some people like other people” I’ve never need to rely on anyone, other than of course normal economic transactions. Why would I park my car in a ditch?
- jacquesm 3y ago
  > I’ve never need to rely on anyone, other than of course normal economic transactions. That's funny. You are relying on thousands of other people every day, all day long. you just don't realize it. And not all of those are economic transactions there is plenty of goodwill involved. For instance, you rely on other people not to kill you when you are driving. Every time a stranger saves your bacon when you make a mistake, for instance. They don't have to! But if that's your worldview I don't think I'll be able to change it. > Why would I park my car in a ditch? I don't think anybody who ever parked their car in a ditch asked that question prior to it happening and afterwards they probably still didn't know. But in areas where there is snow it isn't rare at all to have vehicles do stuff that wasn't quite in the plan. My neighbor in Canada managed to do this with a tractor. Fortunately for him I had a bigger tractor and was able to pull his out of the ditch. And when it was my turn someone kindly brought over an excavator... Society is a fabric, and no man is an island, not even you. You may have the illusion that you are but from the cradle to the grave you are 100% dependent on other people. Unless you live in the boonies and grow your own food and hunt, but if that were the case you wouldn't be writing here. Speaking of which: right now you rely on me to converse with you.
  - midasuni 3y ago
    Those are normal expectation of living in society. Talking you your neighbour is not. I’m sure it was decades ago in the curtain twitching world where people stayed living int he same street for decades, but not today in a highly movable world. Certainly not for me any my peers. any interactions I make are slot my own choosing, that I happen to live near someone is of no consequence. If I did park my car in a ditch there a plethora of recovery services that will retrieve it, whether I’m a mile from home of 200 miles from home. I have no need or desire to know anything about the recovery driver, or the pilot who flew the plane I was last on, or the guy who delivers my mail, nor the plumber who replaced my boiler last year.
    - jacquesm 3y ago
      > Those are normal expectation of living in society. Talking you your neighbour is not. Errm.. yes, that's perfectly normal.
    - rimunroe 3y ago
      > Those are normal expectation of living in society. Talking you your neighbour is not. Given how our language has a word, "neighborly", to describe friendly, helpful behavior, I think the burden is on you here for explaining why talking to your neighbor isn't a thing one can normally expect. I don't think you've done that yet. > I’m sure it was decades ago in the curtain twitching world where people stayed living int he same street for decades, but not today in a highly movable world. Certainly not for me any my peers. How old are you? I'm in my mid 30s and this describes none of my peers, including the younger ones in their late 20s. I can imagine younger folks wanting this. I certainly remember having friends who talked about wanting to move around to different cities/countries all the time in college and shortly after, but their priorities shifted over time. I have friends who love to travel, but I don't know anyone who wouldn't love either a house or an apartment they didn't have to worry about losing each year due to the landlord jacking up the rent or the building being sold to someone who wants to convert the building to condos. > any interactions I make are slot my own choosing, that I happen to live near someone is of no consequence. I'm not sure what this means. I can't imagine it's literally true as you can't really control if someone else approaches you, unless you just flatly refuse to acknowledge their presence. > If I did park my car in a ditch there a plethora of recovery services that will retrieve it, whether I’m a mile from home of 200 miles from home. I've had to wait a long time on a tow truck before when the weather was pleasant. When there's a snowstorm emergency services get slammed and delays increase. My neighbor has a truck and a snow plow, and I wouldn't hesitate to ask him if he could help unstick my car if it sank into the mud a bit. Also, he plows my driveway when the snow is heavy. We do neighborly things for them as well, like helping out when a tree falls in their yard. I don't have kids yet, but from our experiences helping our neighbors out and having grown up with neighbors we knew well, they're invaluable for raising kids. "It takes a village to raise a child" is quite real!
CapstanRoller 3y ago
> in very rural areas you quickly realize that your neighbors are your safety net far more than the authorities Unless you are non-white, an immigrant, LGBTQ, neurodivergent, etc...
- biogene 3y ago
  It's a bit odd to make such a blanket statement for people living in rural areas all over the world. These are "my peeps" and we're not any of those things.
  - CapstanRoller 3y ago
    It's not about you or "your peeps" but rather about the repressive laws (and predominant culture which gives rise to such laws) in these places. I was specifically talking about rural areas in the US, since HN is predominantly a US-centric website, but my argument applies to other countries as well.
- dTal 3y ago
  I've lived in rural areas and while there was some messed up stuff, your blanket statement wasn't entirely my experience. I would suggest that, while you might find less cosmopolitan people in rural areas, they're also more willing to overlook aspects of you that they dislike. You can't really afford to be too picky about your friendships when there's not much to choose from.
  - CapstanRoller 3y ago
    >You can't really afford to be too picky about your friendships when there's not much to choose from. Only someone extremely privileged could twist the desire for basic safety as being "picky"

reaperducer 3y ago

No we aren’t social animals And yet, here you are...

halyna_s 3y ago

Here's a great book recommendation for you - "The Little Book of Lykke: Secrets of the World's Happiest People" by Meik Wiking

morelisp 3y ago

The fuck you doing posting your opinions on social media then?