2 ms·

The question is: is it worth it? How far do you have to degrade yourself before you decide that the other person won't come around? Maybe it's better to just sp

• deleted 3y ago
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• yawgmoth 3y ago
  Degrade is an interesting word. I am comfortable changing for others to make them comfortable because the behavior is not about me and I simply know myself a enough to not mind.
• thelittleone 3y ago
  Super important point. And I'd say not even about degrading but more about deviating from own true self. In relationships, the need for security / protection is often measured in the degree of sacrifice the partner is willing to offer up. The problem is it's a temporary effect as this new sacrifice will at some point becomes the new baseline. I used to sacrifice too much thinking this was how to express love, but often it's counter productive. Either becoming a crutch for the partner or completely losing a sense of self. Example is phone messages. My girl used to get insecure and ask to see them, I had nothing to hide but obliged. Until I recognise this was feeding insecurity and crossing boundaries. I changed my perspective and the next time I said no. That was met with "arr you hiding something" (i wasnt) but explained concept of sovereignty. She stopped asking. It certainly puts the responsibility on her in that case to deal with her past issues rather than me being a bandaid for them. That's one example, and I'm just as often the one doing the wrong in my relationship. Interesting learning experiences. But me taking this firmer position has been very important in my wellness.