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The problem is - when parents say "don't do something" (without giving a good excuse not to) - it has little (and often opposite) effect.
by vizzah 3y ago
The problem is - when parents say "don't do something" (without giving a good excuse not to) - it has little (and often opposite) effect.
- tjrgergw 3y agoI don't believe that. And in fact, you have two examples right here (me and the person I was responding to) where we were told "don't do X" and we didn't. I know everyone says it, but I think "kids do the opposite" is pop-psych BS. I've never met a balanced a person who'd say "I just did the opposite of what my parents told me". I only know of examples where invariably the kids are disturbed also in other ways, and so it's impossible to disentangle cause and effect. People just repeat nonsense they hear with no basis whatsoever, and so BS propagates.
- simmerup 3y agoThen how do you explain reverse psychology?
- tjrgergw 3y agoYou mean this? > Susan Fowler writes, "Beware that such strategies [of reverse psychology] can backfire. Children can sense manipulation a mile away." She instead recommends leading by example. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverse_psychology https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Reverse_psychology
- asdff 3y agoUsually when there is cognitive dissonance involved with the command. Parents might tell you being gay or smoking weed sends you to hell, but then when you finally see examples of people that meet these definitions your parents espoused but aren't presumably suffering the harmful effects they claim, you start to question their judgement and the entire belief system they saddled upon you. Teenagers don't usually act out just to act out. They don't argue to you the sky is red when you say its blue, they will argue breathless over it though if you claim its red when they can go outside and see that it is blue.