3 ms·

This careless comment hit me a bit hard. I grew up with two abusive parents. You have no idea of what that is like. There is no communication adaptation that s

This careless comment hit me a bit hard. I grew up with two abusive parents. You have no idea of what that is like. There is no communication adaptation that saves you from the abuse. They will fly off the handle because they want to, and they will find a reason, even if there is none. The coping strategy is to avoid and keep away. OP sounds like they had a short tempered but caring parent. The situation was alleviated by their adaptation. We all have our weaknesses and strengths, and I am quite sure OP's parent is not the only human to be quick to judge. After all, look at your own comment :) Don't make being a fallible human something bad. We need to tolerate each other's flaws, and compromise towards each other.

danparsonson 3y ago
Let me open by saying: I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences, and for evidently triggering some bad memories for you. And please understand that I mean no harm when, in response to: > ...I grew up with two abusive parents. You have no idea of what that is like... ...I reply - how can you make any assertion about what I know? I haven't said anything about my own childhood. Abuse is a harsh word but it's not a yes or no question; there are shades of abusiveness. What you went through sounds awful, and I certainly don't mean to diminish that, but please don't thereby suggest that others who have suffered less, have not suffered at all. Even mild psychological abuse can have far-reaching consequences, and I'm sorry that I will not elaborate, but I do have some relevant knowledge and experience about this subject. > Don't make being a fallible human something bad. We need to tolerate each other's flaws, and compromise towards each other. I agree, the world needs more genuine compassion - I intended, at least, to send some compassion towards the OP - but from the original post I don't agree that 'fallible' adequately covers it. That's only my opinion though, and as another commenter pointed out, based on incomplete information.
- bluepizza 3y ago
  It's not about you, though. It is about OP, and the story they shared. Your comments are turning the narrative towards you - I believe accidentally, because I don't believe you meant to hijack the thread. But that's what you are doing, unfortunately. You don't have to justify or alleviate your views. It's all good conversation. But let's keep the focus on OP, and let's not make very, very persistent commentary on their parent's behavior.
  - danparsonson 3y ago
    You're right, of course - that is not my intent.

danparsonson 3y ago

Let me open by saying: I'm so sorry to hear about your experiences, and for evidently triggering some bad memories for you. And please understand that I mean no harm when, in response to: > ...I grew up with two abusive parents. You have no idea of what that is like... ...I reply - how can you make any assertion about what I know? I haven't said anything about my own childhood. Abuse is a harsh word but it's not a yes or no question; there are shades of abusiveness. What you went through sounds awful, and I certainly don't mean to diminish that, but please don't thereby suggest that others who have suffered less, have not suffered at all. Even mild psychological abuse can have far-reaching consequences, and I'm sorry that I will not elaborate, but I do have some relevant knowledge and experience about this subject. > Don't make being a fallible human something bad. We need to tolerate each other's flaws, and compromise towards each other. I agree, the world needs more genuine compassion - I intended, at least, to send some compassion towards the OP - but from the original post I don't agree that 'fallible' adequately covers it. That's only my opinion though, and as another commenter pointed out, based on incomplete information.

bluepizza 3y ago
It's not about you, though. It is about OP, and the story they shared. Your comments are turning the narrative towards you - I believe accidentally, because I don't believe you meant to hijack the thread. But that's what you are doing, unfortunately. You don't have to justify or alleviate your views. It's all good conversation. But let's keep the focus on OP, and let's not make very, very persistent commentary on their parent's behavior.
- danparsonson 3y ago
  You're right, of course - that is not my intent.