Every human on the planet is "abusive" by that measure. Including, with certainty, you. The father sounds anxious and protective. Child figured out a hack, as

Every human on the planet is "abusive" by that measure. Including, with certainty, you. The father sounds anxious and protective. Child figured out a hack, as we all figure out hacks to optimize our interactions with other people (all of them imperfect), to avoid that diversion, and life goes on happily. Calling the father "abusive" is honestly grotesque, and it is the sort of petty, detached-from-reality moralizing that leads to everyone hiding any real world details lest they get the boorish, cliched response. It's akin to the sort of over the top, rush-to-conclusion relationship advice common online. "My husband forgot a McDonalds drink cup in my car last week and now it started leaking out of the bottom!" "Abusive! Manipulative! Gaslighting! Lawyer up, hit the gym and divorce his ass!"