My wife and I just had our first child a little over two months ago. Our implementation is unsettled, but my wife and I are of similar mind. We were both raise

My wife and I just had our first child a little over two months ago. Our implementation is unsettled, but my wife and I are of similar mind. We were both raised with basically zero restrictions on computer usage. I had a computer in my bedroom from the time I was ten when the 386 supplanted the 286 in the den. Every time the family would get a new computer, the old one would move into my room. That however came with very little of the dangers of today. Social media was not a thing. and the trouble you could get into on sub-56k internet were pretty limited by comparison. Neither of us want to do straight up arbitrary "screen time" restrictions. They strike me as the worst kind of rule - arbitrary. Creative endeavors, reading, learning and growing shouldn't come with restrictions. I wouldn't be the person I am today in the job I have today if I hadn't been able to spend endless hours trying to make my monochrome 286 do neat things. And yet… On the other hand I don't think there's a lot of value in endless short form videos or scrolling social media. For years I have seen my nieces and nephews with unrestricted personal tablet use spend entire holidays watching YouTube sitting in the corner at their grandparents house and it frankly bothers me. My in-laws will often let their very young children use their phone "as a treat". One of my "favorite" stories to tell is my at the time three year old niece stealing her moms phone from her purse to watch YouTube videos. On her mom confiscating the phone and telling her "You have to ask to use mommy's phone" she had a meltdown screaming "I don't ask. I don't ask." over and over for a solid five minutes. I suspect prior to a certain age, keeping them from electronics particularly without active guidance is probably for the best. I also suspect whatever I try to do will likely fall apart when their friends will have limitless access. I have genuinely considered homeschooling over this but my wife doesn't like that option. Recently, prior to the birth of our daughter, we babysat my friends son. My friends advice was "if he starts to cry, just put on Cocomelon". After about 15 minutes of him screaming for his mommy I resigned and put it on and he immediately stopped crying - and literally everything else other than breathing - and just STARED at the TV with a unblinking gaze. I have become convinced that there is something in that show that just should not be seen by children. I had not really considered restricting my kids access to media prior to this, but it was honestly kind of frightening. I am far more afraid of whatever that is that Cocomelon contains than I am of their exposure to sex or violence. The long and short is that I really don't know, and it worries me.