3 ms·

Get him a laptop early. Teach him how to make things. Separate “creative time” from “consumption time”. Get a router that gives you good controls for total time

by bentt 3y ago

Get him a laptop early. Teach him how to make things. Separate “creative time” from “consumption time”. Get a router that gives you good controls for total time and time schedule. The TP-Link Deco series is what I use and it does the job. Avoid a real smartphone for as long as possible. 9th grade would be ideal. Give other ways to communicate - smart watcj, dumb phone, Discord on laptop. This is about manners, literacy, etiquette, and skills. The medium is not the message, etc. I would type more but I am on the other side of the line now, on my smartphone while I wait for my son at the orthodontist. :)

joshcanhelp 3y ago
This is a really good idea, thank you! I find my least productive time with a device is on a phone. If I'm on a laptop, besides working, I'm writing or coding or doing administrative tasks. Rarely am I just wasting time time there.
adaptbrian 3y ago
Are you worried about the openness of acesss with discord, I recommend the same then my partner was like what about the randos and I didn't have an answer...
- molsongolden 3y ago
  It's worth having some sort of "be careful talking to strangers on the internet, don't share personal information, use a fun username, it's okay to ignore messages, here's how to block people, etc..." talk. Beyond that, they are going to encounter randos and need to build the toolkit for navigating those situations. Don't interrogate but try to casually chat with them sometimes about what they've been up to: anything cool, anything weird, any new hangouts. I don't know what kids and parents are doing today with minimum age requirements for chat app usage (13 is the minimum in most places but this seems to be ignored frequently) but pre-teens might still to talk to you about weird things they encounter. You will become less cool to talk to when they are in high school but they'll still absorb anecdotes even if they scoff and roll their eyes throughout the entire conversation. If you're concerned and they don't like talking about it, an older sibling, cousin, friend's older kid, might be able to casually check how things are going without triggering the "ew, parents" reflex.
slothtrop 3y ago
> Get a router that gives you good controls for total time and time schedule. Or searches. With very young kids, you never know what they're going to look for and find. I'd be wary. For as little time I expect they'd be on a laptop, I am more tempted to set up a "family computer" in an open space like the old days. Really, still don't know how I'd navigate this one because it's a real concern.
theshrike79 3y ago
Creative vs consumption is how we did it too. Learning apps or anything that requires imagination have no or very few screen time limits. 100% consumption like Netflix, D+ etc have hard daily limits and the kids can get more by doing something that doesn't require a screen. Now we're at a level where the media viewing very rarely occupies them a 100%, in most cases there's an iPad or a computer playing a kids show for the 42nd time just as a background noise while they're doing crafts or something else.

by bentt 3y ago

joshcanhelp 3y ago

This is a really good idea, thank you! I find my least productive time with a device is on a phone. If I'm on a laptop, besides working, I'm writing or coding or doing administrative tasks. Rarely am I just wasting time time there.

adaptbrian 3y ago

Are you worried about the openness of acesss with discord, I recommend the same then my partner was like what about the randos and I didn't have an answer...

molsongolden 3y ago
It's worth having some sort of "be careful talking to strangers on the internet, don't share personal information, use a fun username, it's okay to ignore messages, here's how to block people, etc..." talk. Beyond that, they are going to encounter randos and need to build the toolkit for navigating those situations. Don't interrogate but try to casually chat with them sometimes about what they've been up to: anything cool, anything weird, any new hangouts. I don't know what kids and parents are doing today with minimum age requirements for chat app usage (13 is the minimum in most places but this seems to be ignored frequently) but pre-teens might still to talk to you about weird things they encounter. You will become less cool to talk to when they are in high school but they'll still absorb anecdotes even if they scoff and roll their eyes throughout the entire conversation. If you're concerned and they don't like talking about it, an older sibling, cousin, friend's older kid, might be able to casually check how things are going without triggering the "ew, parents" reflex.

slothtrop 3y ago

> Get a router that gives you good controls for total time and time schedule. Or searches. With very young kids, you never know what they're going to look for and find. I'd be wary. For as little time I expect they'd be on a laptop, I am more tempted to set up a "family computer" in an open space like the old days. Really, still don't know how I'd navigate this one because it's a real concern.

theshrike79 3y ago

Creative vs consumption is how we did it too. Learning apps or anything that requires imagination have no or very few screen time limits. 100% consumption like Netflix, D+ etc have hard daily limits and the kids can get more by doing something that doesn't require a screen. Now we're at a level where the media viewing very rarely occupies them a 100%, in most cases there's an iPad or a computer playing a kids show for the 42nd time just as a background noise while they're doing crafts or something else.