Community doesn't cut it. Communities judge you, they gossip about you, and they contain people who rightly or wrongly feel a sense of rivalry with you, feeling

Community doesn't cut it. Communities judge you, they gossip about you, and they contain people who rightly or wrongly feel a sense of rivalry with you, feeling ambiguous or even opposed to you thriving. Even among your friends, some will unwisely share information in ways that turn out to hurt you, despite their best intentions. A therapist is more like a grandparent, in a way that most grandparents can't be any longer. Once upon a time, your grandparents understood the world you lived in, or at least understood how people in your world related to each other. They understood how survival and respect and love worked for you and the people you dealt with. Virtually none of my friends could say that about their grandparents now, or even their aunts and uncles. None of my aunts, uncles, or grandparents ever lived in a world resembling mine. Everything about my life, including my emotional concerns, is alien to them. Now, instead of talking to a relative who can't relate to your life and your concerns, or talking to friends who can't be trusted with secrets or aren't comfortable discussing the topics that are upsetting you, you can pick a therapist who understands the place and social milieu you inhabit, is bound to confidentiality, and on top of that has professional training and experience.