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Thanks for that. My Mum was almost the exact opposite to yours, but there seems to be no name for her ailment. She would move house once a year, and she would t

Thanks for that. My Mum was almost the exact opposite to yours, but there seems to be no name for her ailment. She would move house once a year, and she would throw away a large part of everything we owned with every move. In the new house, we would often live amongst piles of cardboard boxes that never got around to being unpacked. While my Dad was alive, the books endured, but on his demise they got thrown out too. And obviously, our social circle did not survive frequent relocation.

Solvency 3y ago
While alive what was your dads role in this annual process? Was he involved in the decision/move/lifestyle? I've never understood family dynamics where one parent is able to absolutely control the entire equation.
- rambojohnson 3y ago
  why would anyone want to dive into such a sensitive topic on a public forum? mind your manners.
  - Solvency 3y ago
    What? Mind my manners? The GP offered their personal anecdote in a thread of vulnerable hoarding stories. I had parents who were equally complicit in their afflictions and I'm genuinely curious about unilateral situations.
  - deleted 3y ago
    [deleted]
  - jychang 3y ago
    This is PRECISELY the type of thing that should be discussed in anonymous public forums, with the consent of the person and with neutral questions not for the sake of shaming the person who’s talking. Growth of issues in society should not be relegated to whispers in back rooms, the way baby boomers do it. That’s how you hamper scientific progress for psychology. How can people investigate an issue if it’s hidden from view? Bringing light to issues for society allows them to be solved as people understand it better. Shame on you for perpetuating toxic behavior that shames people for looking for insight into our world.
  - friend_and_foe 3y ago
    [dead]
- atlantic 3y ago
  Ok, good question. He was uncritically supportive, as my mother found fault with each new apartment or neighbourhood, making up reasons to move again. He also accepted her reasons for moving us to yet another school. And he obviously financed this very expensive habit, so there was never much left over for clothes or anything recreational. The only condition was that his routine would remain undisturbed, and he wouldn't help in any way. So for example, he'd have all his breakfast gear at the ready in the new house, amongst the piles of boxes, from the first morning. And go to work as usual. Other than that very large elephant in the room, they were great parents, no complaints.
  - xur17 3y ago
    > The only condition was that his routine would remain undisturbed, and he wouldn't help in any way. So for example, he'd have all his breakfast gear at the ready in the new house, amongst the piles of boxes, from the first morning. And go to work as usual. I shouldn't laugh, but I'm just picturing your dad sitting amongst the chaos casually eating his breakfast cereal totally unphased by it all.
    - atlantic 3y ago
      If the furniture was still piled up, there'd be a folding table and chair for him, in an open space between the piles of boxes. He'd have his own milk and pot, coffee and filters, toaster, breadboard, breadknife, butterknife, teaspoon and mug. He was a very generous man, but these objects he didn't share. The breakfast ritual took several hours, and involved a Swedish exercise routine near an open window, interspersed with reading the news and breakfast itself. The reading was not strictly passive, as it involved marking various articles with a thick red pencil, and then cutting them out, folding the cuttings, and saving a select few into his wallet for later reading.
      - clove 3y ago
        Seems to have had some healthy habits and a positive mindset, so... What led to his death?
  - 3y ago
helsinkiandrew 3y ago
Not a doctor, but is that a form of Obsessive-compulsive disorder?
bell-cot 3y ago
Reading the first comment, then your reply - my impression is "The left and right tails of yet another bell curve of human behaviors...either tail of which (if less extreme) could be highly adaptive in many situations." [Edit: fixed spelling.]
- Obscurity4340 3y ago
  Do you mean adaptive or am I missing something ?
  - ke88y 3y ago
    Yeah, I think he does mean adaptive. The point is that -- although the behaviors are certainly mal-adaptive in resource-rich stable countries -- they might actually be highly adaptive in other situations.

Solvency 3y ago

While alive what was your dads role in this annual process? Was he involved in the decision/move/lifestyle? I've never understood family dynamics where one parent is able to absolutely control the entire equation.

rambojohnson 3y ago
why would anyone want to dive into such a sensitive topic on a public forum? mind your manners.
- Solvency 3y ago
  What? Mind my manners? The GP offered their personal anecdote in a thread of vulnerable hoarding stories. I had parents who were equally complicit in their afflictions and I'm genuinely curious about unilateral situations.
- deleted 3y ago
  [deleted]
- jychang 3y ago
  This is PRECISELY the type of thing that should be discussed in anonymous public forums, with the consent of the person and with neutral questions not for the sake of shaming the person who’s talking. Growth of issues in society should not be relegated to whispers in back rooms, the way baby boomers do it. That’s how you hamper scientific progress for psychology. How can people investigate an issue if it’s hidden from view? Bringing light to issues for society allows them to be solved as people understand it better. Shame on you for perpetuating toxic behavior that shames people for looking for insight into our world.
- friend_and_foe 3y ago
  [dead]
atlantic 3y ago
Ok, good question. He was uncritically supportive, as my mother found fault with each new apartment or neighbourhood, making up reasons to move again. He also accepted her reasons for moving us to yet another school. And he obviously financed this very expensive habit, so there was never much left over for clothes or anything recreational. The only condition was that his routine would remain undisturbed, and he wouldn't help in any way. So for example, he'd have all his breakfast gear at the ready in the new house, amongst the piles of boxes, from the first morning. And go to work as usual. Other than that very large elephant in the room, they were great parents, no complaints.
- xur17 3y ago
  > The only condition was that his routine would remain undisturbed, and he wouldn't help in any way. So for example, he'd have all his breakfast gear at the ready in the new house, amongst the piles of boxes, from the first morning. And go to work as usual. I shouldn't laugh, but I'm just picturing your dad sitting amongst the chaos casually eating his breakfast cereal totally unphased by it all.
  - atlantic 3y ago
    If the furniture was still piled up, there'd be a folding table and chair for him, in an open space between the piles of boxes. He'd have his own milk and pot, coffee and filters, toaster, breadboard, breadknife, butterknife, teaspoon and mug. He was a very generous man, but these objects he didn't share. The breakfast ritual took several hours, and involved a Swedish exercise routine near an open window, interspersed with reading the news and breakfast itself. The reading was not strictly passive, as it involved marking various articles with a thick red pencil, and then cutting them out, folding the cuttings, and saving a select few into his wallet for later reading.
    - clove 3y ago
      Seems to have had some healthy habits and a positive mindset, so... What led to his death?
- 3y ago

helsinkiandrew 3y ago

Not a doctor, but is that a form of Obsessive-compulsive disorder?

bell-cot 3y ago

Reading the first comment, then your reply - my impression is "The left and right tails of yet another bell curve of human behaviors...either tail of which (if less extreme) could be highly adaptive in many situations." [Edit: fixed spelling.]

Obscurity4340 3y ago
Do you mean adaptive or am I missing something ?
- ke88y 3y ago
  Yeah, I think he does mean adaptive. The point is that -- although the behaviors are certainly mal-adaptive in resource-rich stable countries -- they might actually be highly adaptive in other situations.