5 ms·

I have a problem throwing out old stuff that I don't need or use. When I start going through and sorting things out I get hit with waves of memories. It's like

I have a problem throwing out old stuff that I don't need or use. When I start going through and sorting things out I get hit with waves of memories. It's like I've offloaded memories to these objects and if I throw them away I'm throwing away those memories. So then I stick them back in their box and into the closet. Or back on the bookshelf. Or wherever. I try to accumulate less things since I know I'll have trouble throwing them out.

badcppdev 3y ago
I tried taking photos of books that I didn't think I wanted to keep anymore but did want to be reminded of. I got rid of the books but then whenever I saw the photos of the books in my phone I found myself momentarily regretting that I didn't have them anymore.
- CTDOCodebases 3y ago
  I've taken a similar approach with the opposite effect. With books though I can understand where you are coming from. If I was you I would look to getting rid of other things so you can keep your books or I would impose some artificial rule like "if I haven't read 10 or more pages in 3 years the book has to go."
  - skeeter2020 3y ago
    I've pared down my books to owning only timeless reference books or grander "coffee table" style volumes. I find people who would like to borrow the rest, and tell them "No, but you can have it if you promise to give it to someone else once you're done with it". The idea of a book flowing between lots of people makes you feel good and masks the loss of not owning it.
    - CTDOCodebases 3y ago
      This is a good idea. Where I live there are little libraries on the street where people leave books for others to read.
deleted 3y ago
[deleted]
ilyt 3y ago
My problem is that around 10% of them does ultimately become useful after few years. I think adding explicit expiration date might help. Like, put the stuff in a box, slap "throw away before X" date on it. Take any stuff that you need now, on real need, out of it, anything left goes to trash after the date.
- skeeter2020 3y ago
  This is a good strategy, but it's hard to come up with a date, and to have the discipline to follow through. I have a lot of bicycles, but I don't believe in "collecting" so if it doesn't get ridden at least every 6 months, it's gone. Old electronics? I've tried a few times to dung out the closet but some stuff sneaks back in, because... you never know... I had a great idea for that when I get time... but that's sooo cool!
OliveMate 3y ago
A few years back I read through The Art of Discarding by Nagisa Tatsumi and I'd highly recommend it. It's a short and light read that breaks down our habits of keeping things and has a handful of strategies to get rid of what we don't need, and I found it pretty useful with decluttering a good chunk of what I don't need, and I found that a lot of the stuff I had for sentimental reasons I didn't have much of a true connection to. But with that being said, winding anecdote: Last month I was helping my folks clear old boxes that pretty much contained my entire childhood. Aside from 3 books there was nothing I'd remotely thought about keeping for well over a decade and I was happy to give or throw away whatever I found. Old toy cars, action figures, way too many PS2 cheat book and magazines to count, I had no connection to anything as we sorted out charity deposits. I'll admit the Lego was a fun nightmare (I admit that I never should've opened the box!), I'm still scrounging through a mountain of bricks putting together which sets I can, but I won't be keeping this myself. But then there was a box containing a wooden train set. The last time I saw it I was ~4 years old. And there I was, looking at something so innocent that hadn't crossed my mind in over 20 years and I immediately broke down in tears on the spot. It felt raw and even thinking about it is still overwhelming. I was laughing with tears streaming down my face as I talked to my mum about it, and even though I won't touch it ever again, I can't help but feel thankful that she decided to keep it for me. I wish I could make some poignant point about memory and the human condition, but it's weird and odd the way we can have such different emotional attachments to things, and don't take it too hard if some things are too hard to throw away.
- zoklet-enjoyer 3y ago
  Thanks for the book recommendation. I'll look for an ebook or audiobook, because you know, the whole having too much stuff thing haha. The last time I really tried to declutter felt great. I had a big box of Goosebumps and Animorphs books that I loved as a kid. I loaded them up in my car and drove around to all the Little Free Libraries. I hope some kids had as much fun reading them as I did.
  - OliveMate 3y ago
    > Thanks for the book recommendation. I'll look for an ebook or audiobook, because you know, the whole having too much stuff thing haha. I have a whole bunch of books I'm never going to read gathering dust on my bookshelf, and I've only really noticed them now that you've said that. Thanks for the reminder! As much as I couldn't part with the wooden train set, it's a lovely feeling sharing something you once loved. When it came to all my childhood books we found a local teacher who was more than happy to come around and take them off our hands.

badcppdev 3y ago

I tried taking photos of books that I didn't think I wanted to keep anymore but did want to be reminded of. I got rid of the books but then whenever I saw the photos of the books in my phone I found myself momentarily regretting that I didn't have them anymore.

CTDOCodebases 3y ago
I've taken a similar approach with the opposite effect. With books though I can understand where you are coming from. If I was you I would look to getting rid of other things so you can keep your books or I would impose some artificial rule like "if I haven't read 10 or more pages in 3 years the book has to go."
- skeeter2020 3y ago
  I've pared down my books to owning only timeless reference books or grander "coffee table" style volumes. I find people who would like to borrow the rest, and tell them "No, but you can have it if you promise to give it to someone else once you're done with it". The idea of a book flowing between lots of people makes you feel good and masks the loss of not owning it.
  - CTDOCodebases 3y ago
    This is a good idea. Where I live there are little libraries on the street where people leave books for others to read.

deleted 3y ago

[deleted]

ilyt 3y ago

My problem is that around 10% of them does ultimately become useful after few years. I think adding explicit expiration date might help. Like, put the stuff in a box, slap "throw away before X" date on it. Take any stuff that you need now, on real need, out of it, anything left goes to trash after the date.

skeeter2020 3y ago
This is a good strategy, but it's hard to come up with a date, and to have the discipline to follow through. I have a lot of bicycles, but I don't believe in "collecting" so if it doesn't get ridden at least every 6 months, it's gone. Old electronics? I've tried a few times to dung out the closet but some stuff sneaks back in, because... you never know... I had a great idea for that when I get time... but that's sooo cool!

OliveMate 3y ago

A few years back I read through The Art of Discarding by Nagisa Tatsumi and I'd highly recommend it. It's a short and light read that breaks down our habits of keeping things and has a handful of strategies to get rid of what we don't need, and I found it pretty useful with decluttering a good chunk of what I don't need, and I found that a lot of the stuff I had for sentimental reasons I didn't have much of a true connection to. But with that being said, winding anecdote: Last month I was helping my folks clear old boxes that pretty much contained my entire childhood. Aside from 3 books there was nothing I'd remotely thought about keeping for well over a decade and I was happy to give or throw away whatever I found. Old toy cars, action figures, way too many PS2 cheat book and magazines to count, I had no connection to anything as we sorted out charity deposits. I'll admit the Lego was a fun nightmare (I admit that I never should've opened the box!), I'm still scrounging through a mountain of bricks putting together which sets I can, but I won't be keeping this myself. But then there was a box containing a wooden train set. The last time I saw it I was ~4 years old. And there I was, looking at something so innocent that hadn't crossed my mind in over 20 years and I immediately broke down in tears on the spot. It felt raw and even thinking about it is still overwhelming. I was laughing with tears streaming down my face as I talked to my mum about it, and even though I won't touch it ever again, I can't help but feel thankful that she decided to keep it for me. I wish I could make some poignant point about memory and the human condition, but it's weird and odd the way we can have such different emotional attachments to things, and don't take it too hard if some things are too hard to throw away.

zoklet-enjoyer 3y ago
Thanks for the book recommendation. I'll look for an ebook or audiobook, because you know, the whole having too much stuff thing haha. The last time I really tried to declutter felt great. I had a big box of Goosebumps and Animorphs books that I loved as a kid. I loaded them up in my car and drove around to all the Little Free Libraries. I hope some kids had as much fun reading them as I did.
- OliveMate 3y ago
  > Thanks for the book recommendation. I'll look for an ebook or audiobook, because you know, the whole having too much stuff thing haha. I have a whole bunch of books I'm never going to read gathering dust on my bookshelf, and I've only really noticed them now that you've said that. Thanks for the reminder! As much as I couldn't part with the wooden train set, it's a lovely feeling sharing something you once loved. When it came to all my childhood books we found a local teacher who was more than happy to come around and take them off our hands.