It's so tempting to implement in bash. I made the mistake _again_ this week! It's so seductive to be able to start subprocesses with no ceremony, use output red

It's so tempting to implement in bash. I made the mistake _again_ this week! It's so seductive to be able to start subprocesses with no ceremony, use output redirection, use jq, etc. If you have even the slightest hesitation regarding whether the task in front of you would be better done in a real programming language, the answer is do it in a real programming language.