Personal experience, I don't know if it's backed by studies. We think that there are a bunch of factors you can control that help reduce the risk, you probably

Personal experience, I don't know if it's backed by studies. We think that there are a bunch of factors you can control that help reduce the risk, you probably know them: * sleep deprivation: take turns taking care of the baby and let the mom sleep whenever she can, naps during the day, when the baby is napping, when the baby is with you, etc; getting as much sleep is <<super important>> for the mom * moral support: no matter how much things suck, you're in this together; talk to the mom and ideally, make fun of the literally shitty situation :-) * as mentioned by others, get more help if you can; no shame in doing it, you said you were a military man, wouldn't you want to greatly outnumber "the enemy" (the baby)? :-p * take the longest leave possible, don't save PTO; you're probably not going anywhere interesting this year, use that time to offer support during this super stressful period. FYI, statistically the pressure goes down at about 3 months old and again at 6 months old.